The Touro Communication Club Notes - #107 –March 3, 2010 Tourocommunicationclub.blogspot.com
Five Communication Quotes of the Week
“Of all lies, art is the least untrue.”
Gustave Flaubert. 19th century French author
“A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.”
Michelangelo, 15th century, Italian sculptor, painter, architect, and poet
“A picture is worth a thousand words.”
Napoleon Bonaparte, 18th century French military dictator
“A writer should write with his eyes and a painter paint with his ears.”
Gertrude Stein, 20th century American writer
“Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.”
T.S. Eliot. 20th century American/English poet
The Touro Communication Club
2 pm - Wednesday, March 3, 2010– Room 223
“A Conversation with James Baldwin”
Gary Sheinfeld, a long-time Touro English professor, was a friend of James Baldwin. In this reading Timothy Taylor, Associate Dean of Students, will portray Mr. Baldwin, and Gary Sheinfeld will play himself.
Shortly before Baldwin’s death in 1987, Sheinfeld recorded a conversation with the famous American author, probably his last recorded words. Among Baldwin’s works are “Go Tell It on the Mountain”(1953), “ Giovanni’s Room” (1956), “Another Country”(1962), “The Fire Next Time” (1963) and a play “Blues for Mr. Charlie” (1964).
A Note to Communicators:
“Art” and Communication
For this week’s Club session, we are privileged to have Touro English professor Gary Sheinfeld bring to life his conversation with famed African-American author, James Baldwin. Dean Timothy Taylor plays Baldwin’s part in what Professor Sheinfeld says is Baldwin’s last interview.
As with the session we did on student poetry, the Baldwin program raises particular issues about “Art and Communication” that are worth exploring.
For our purposes, I am using the term “art” in its broadest definition. “Art” extends from ancient Greek sculpture to rap music, from the Egyptian pyramids to Broadway musicals, from Michelangelo’s famed sculpture, Pietá to graffiti on a subway train.
We normally associate communication with words. We use words when we write stories and poetry, as does James Baldwin. Words are the primary delivery tool of the author’s thoughts
We also use words in songs, films, plays, musicals and operas. Here, the words are one of several tools which convey the author’s thinking.
But what about the non-verbal forms of “art”? Dance, music, painting, sculpture, architecture, environmental and site specific art also communicate what the choreographer, painter, composer, sculptor and architect had in mind. We have to work harder to figure out the “message” of the artist because we don’t have words to help us. We have to rely on line, color, shape, texture, among other elements to convey the intention of the artist.
Semiotics, the study of signs and symbols, is a further aspect of communication. Street signs as well as advertising in magazines, newspapers and buses all send messages to those who view them.
The element which ties all “art” together is the author’s intention. What does he/she want to communicate? Is it to convey information? persuade? entertain? satirize? honor? celebrate? memorialize? Or a dozen other intentions.
Then we can look at the content of the communication.
· Is the musical content pure – as in pure sound vs. a sound that has a programmatic intent?
· Is its pictorial nature focused on pure line or color or abstract shape or something that has a specific time, place or person that is important?
· Is the movement a pure exploration of space, light and human form or does it serve a particular purpose?
Pure art is not interested in communicating any specific message. It is an exploration of the elements of the art form without regard to a specific message. For those interested in “art for art’s sake,” anything that smacks of a “message” is not considered art. Quickly, we are off and running into an endless argument. Ultimately, the “art” exists in the eyes of the beholder. As Henry Kissinger once said, “Perception is all.”
Finally, we have to examine the attitude the author of the work of art take toward the subject matter. Does it attempt to be neutral – as in “pure art”? Is it support or hostile? Is it biased in one way or another?
Once we’ve done our mental homework as observers, then we can be alert to the thoughts themselves that the author is communicating. Are they superficial illustrations? Are they different and unusual?
So often we are swept along by the power of the technique of the art work – surprise, terror, suspense, heart-warming, stark – that we are distracted from its intention and attitude. In adventure movies, it’s the explosions. In blockbuster musical spectacles, we come out whistling the scenery. We need to know why we’ve come to observe the art work.
As one of my teachers, Harold Clurman, the noted critic, stage director and co-founder of the Group Theatre, commented, “I go to the theatre like I go to dinner. I want some salad, some steak, a few vegetables and a sweet dessert. But I don’t want too much of cotton candy because it spoils my digestion.”
Where’s the “enjoyment” in observing the art work? Does an overly analytical habit destroy the experience of luxuriating in the moment? I would hope not. Just as the trained communicator has a wide range of tools to use, so does the arts observer. I would hope the experience would be richer for the analysis both in the moment and thereafter.
But then, what’s art? As the connoisseur of “art” might say over a beer, “I know what I like.”
UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:
March 10, 2010 - “The Power of No” The word “No” is a powerful word. Negatives always are. “No” is the favorite word of a two-year-old child. “No” blocks forward movement. “No” stops the thinking of some people. “No” provokes negative emotions. “No” can be a powerful position. What do you feel when you say “No”? What do you do? Swear at the person who says “No.” We have lots to talk about. And then there’s passive resistance…..
March 17, 2010 – “Science and Art – Is there a Conflict?” – A discussion led by Touro poet Charles Borkhuis. More to come.
March 24, 2010 - Dean Donne Kampel on “Women & Leadership”- Women are breaking through the glass ceiling more frequently these days. However, the challenges that female leaders face in traditional hierarchy remain daunting. Dean Kampel will share some of her experiences and secrets as part of our discussion. Her study of these issues is part of her forthcoming book on the topic.
What about one of these topics?
“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”
“Repetition”
“Meaning”
“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”
“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”
“Heroism”
“Concentration”
“Coping with Adversity”
“Distraction”
Student Poetry showcase
“Empathy”
“Connecting the Dots”
Role play of cynical people
“Cold Calling in Sales”
“He’s Just Not That into You”
“Freedom of Speech”
And dozens of others!
What happened on Wednesday,
February 3, 2010?
Compare the notice of the session with what really happened!
“How Do You Fire Someone?”
In our work or love life, we may have been fired or told to get lost. Why does this happen? Can you tell if you are going to be fired? What do you say to someone who you want to get rid of? Lots of emotion surrounds these situations. We’ll talk about some ways to prepare to fire someone as well as your options if you suddenly learn you’ve been fired.
Joining in this week’s discussion was newcomer Ruti Abramovitz. Among the familiar faces were Damian Forbes, Jean Missial, Brittany Robles, David Nussbaum, Richard Green, Erica Bell, Carlisle Yearwood, Lorinda Moore, Charles Mason and Hal Wicke.
Hal opened the discussion with a proverbial question, “When do you fire someone? The termination of a job is the most obvious response.
· “Downsized” is a way of firing someone without commenting on his/her performance.
· You get “sweet b.s.” when you get fired.
· Everything changed after Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice” famous phrase, “You’re fired.”
· It used to be a disgraceful thing to be fired.
· It’s a blow to your ego.
· Japanese companies used to pride themselves on “cradle to grave” employment situations, but no longer because of the economy. [That’s happening to Toyota’s culture with all those car recalls.]
· How do you avoid being fired?
· We no longer have the paternalistic culture of the “golden handcuffs”
Richard commented on his experience many years ago of working at Sports Illustrated where everyone was treated to fancy lunches, upstate NY retreats. “We were family,” he said. Then came the shock when he was downsized and suddenly no longer a member of the family. He became disillusioned with the concept of corporate family. “You’re only ‘family’ until they don’t need you,” he said.
When Richard was downsized, Sports Illustrated (of Time, Inc.) provided an Executive training program to teach employees about to leave how to interview write a resume and how to network to get another job. “It was to make the firing experience more palatable,” he observed.
Damian commented that on his job he was “just passing through.” This indicated he was there to do the work, but not invested emotionally with his work or the company.
What about promoting someone in order to fire them? Give them a job a person cannot do and then fire them for not doing the job. [Pretty Machiavellian!)
How do you prepare to fire someone?
· Start a paper trail. Collect a diary of specifics of things the employee hasn’t done. Build a case against the employee.
· This anticipates the employee suing the company for lack of a warning or being accused on bias or other whimsical charges.
· You sense something is in the air.
· “I was fired because I was disliked by the manager.”
· Observe the non-verbals.
· Look for “stop signs” – lateness, lack of preparation
How do you prepare yourself for being fired?
· Look at the market. Read about it in the newspaper.
· Constantly develop your network of contacts. An actor starts looking for his next job as soon as he is cast in his present job.
· Just be yourself 100% of the time.
· Tiger Wood – feeling entitled and deserving causes problems
· It’s a rare thing to learn from others – Unfortunately, we have to learn the same lessons ourselves.
· Expect the unexpected
This was an interesting and very practical discussion. Everyone present seemed to understand the nature of firing someone. The topic has other implications: Do you “fire” your family? Do you “fire” a loved one? Do you “fire” your doctor, lawyer? Can you “fire” a teacher? [I have observed students planning to fire a teacher.]
Politicians get “fired” by the voters for a variety of misdeeds. Corruption and sex scandals seem to be the major reasons. In 1974, President Richard Nixon resigned over what he called “a third-rate burglary.” The pressure that NY Governor David Patterson is now enduring for a variety of nefarious misdeeds may induce a resignation. Similar pressure is now on Congressman Charles Rangel of Harlem – twice a Touro graduation speaker – for his sloppy management of gifts he received.
On the sex scene, President Clinton was almost impeached for his behavior with Monica Lewinsky. NJ Governor James McGreevey resigned over his homosexual affair. Within 48 hours after NY Governor Eliot Spitzer was caught patronizing a Washington prostitute, he resigned.
Perhaps the most unusual twist of a recent political firing was that of NY State Senator Hiram Monserate of the Bronx who was ousted by his colleagues in Albany for his brutish behavior toward his female companion, but now is running again for the open seat.
The list is endless – and boring in its repetition. [A side observation – there are no women in these lists. Why?]
The media scrutiny and the public outcry to these political situations often is so loud and distracting that the politicians cannot do their jobs effectively – assuming they could be effective in the first place.
On the personal level, being fired affects a small number of people. On a public level, a political “firing” affects a large number of people on a variety of levels, both immediate and long term. Confidence in ones’ self can be affected in individual situations. Confidence and trust in public figures in general affect their ability to govern and deliver services.
“Firing” is a volatile crucible which can serve as a metaphor for many aspects of human existence. For each “firing,’ if we are alert to the communication signals – verbal and non-verbal – we can prepare ourselves for both sides of such a situation.
---
We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.
Hal Wicke
Sunday, March 7, 2010
The Touro Communication Club Notes - #106 – February 24, 2010 Tourocommunicationclub.blogspot.com
Three Communication Quotes of the Week
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit.
George Carlin, the late American comedian
If you are not fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
Vince Lombardi, legendary Green Bay Packers coach
Every time I walk down the street, people are screaming, “You’re fired!”
Donald Trump, NYC real estate mogul and television personality
The Touro Communication Club
2 pm - Wednesday, February 24, 2010– Room 223
“How Do You Fire Someone?”
In our work or love life, we may have been fired or told to get lost. Why does this happen? Can you tell if you are going to be fired? What do you say to someone who you want to get rid of? Lots of emotion surrounds these situations. We’ll talk about some ways to prepare to fire someone as well as your options if you suddenly learn you’ve been fired.
A Note to Communicators:
How Do You Fire Someone?
“You’re fired!” was made famous by Donald Trump, one of America’s outstanding self-promoters as well as real estate mogul, on his narcissistic television reality show, “The Apprentice.”
In order for one candidate to become Trump’s “apprentice” for a year had to survive twelve weeks of elimination projects. For those who didn’t make it, Trump imperiously pronounced his infamous sentence,” You’re fired!” Meekly, the ostracized aspiring job applicant trundled off in a cab, muttering how poorly Trump had treated him.
Although to “fire someone” is usually associated with business practices, I am interested in the phenomenon of an abrupt end to any relationship. Certainly a job dismissal comes to mind often. But what about a rupture in a relationship when a bond has been created?
On both sides, the person who does the “firing” and the person being “fired” have issues which usually involve some level of miscommunication. Each party presumes that he/she is functioning successfully until signals appear that the relationship is not operating successfully.
What are some of those signals? Some small signals might be a word is misspoken or a promise is broken or an appointment is missed. More obvious signals include profanity, hitting or denial of promotion.
In any relationship, once there is a bond created – emotional or legal or business – there is a level of trust that is established between two parties. Each expects the other to operate honestly and candidly.
However, often both parties attach different meanings to the relationship, even a formal one like a marriage (Tiger Woods and a slew of politicians come to mind. The informal or formal contract is violated when “the party of the first part” does not live up to the definition of “the partyof the second part.” When the level of misunderstanding grows to the point of unbearable emotional tension, a rupture of some kind will occur.
This phenomenon happens frequently in daily human politics, but the possibility of a rupture is ever present in international politics. Two examples come to mind:
· In September, 1938, with the alarming rise of Nazi Germany, English Prime Minister, Neville Chamberlain, along with other European leaders, met with Adolf Hitler and got his agreement not to pursue his aggression. Chamberlain came home proclaiming, “We have peace in our time,” as he held up the document to cheering crowds. Back in Berlin, Hitler tore up the agreement and ordered his tanks to roll into the Sudetenland, which was part of Czechoslovakia at the time.
· This week (February, 2010), on BBC Radio, a Chinese official vowed that if the United States was not “cooperating” with China. If the U.S. didn’t “cooperate,” the Chinese government would give Iran nuclear capability, call in American debt and refuse to buy American goods. This issue is already a “sticky wicket” for both countries.
The professional politicians we elect are supposed to understand this behavior and hopefully prepare for it. Unfortunately, like us regular folk, these world leaders often don’t understand one another’s behavior. These leaders are subject to the same frailties. Like us, we don’t “connect the dots.”
So if we are try to build our own ideal communication world, perhaps we can prepare ourselves for these possibilities. In short, we have to prepare for a reality that is not so nice.
· We need to prepare for bullying behavior.
· We need to prepare for people to have different perceptions of the same situation.
· We need to prepare for people to lie – consciously or unconsciously Hopefully, we don’t practice lying.
· We need to prepare for chickanery, which includes a variety of deceptive words and deeds interpersonally or in a legal setting.
· We need to prepare for evasive behavior and/or stonewalling
· We have to prepare for a rupture even as we enter a relationship. Colin Powell called it “an exit strategy.
· We have to prepare for Murphy’s Law by having Plan B, Plan C, Plan D, etc.
How do you prepare for the possibility of difficult behavior? Or in this case,how do you prepare to fire someone?
The preparation for the act of firing someone happens well before the actual incident. You must make sure all parties are clear about the standards of behavior that you expect, as the boss or a partner in a personal relationship.
· Yet we have to be emotionally prepared for a rupture. Our study of the Laws of Murphy s should have prepared us for “Crap Detection,” one of Ernest Hemingway’s strategies.
· We need to examine our solar plexus for physical indications of emotional and/or physical distress. Our intellectual and emotional radar must be turned on to at least notice negative or non-productive stimuli
· We need to notice patterns of stimuli that do not meet with our own standards of behavior.
· We need to keep a journal of activities – date, time, description of the incident.
· We need to make the other party aware of issues which are of concern to us. In business, it is called a “paper trail.”
· Once a negative pattern has been identified and verified with our own observation, we need to begin to formulate a plan of action.
· We need to reflect on the timing of the firing, the style of confrontation, the words we will use and the follow-through after the moment.
· We need to train mentally and emotionally for the moment of confrontation. You must be
· If we are ethical people, we cannot fire someone in a fit of anger.
· We must remember that this person is a human being with feelings, family and a human context, the person is not a thing and object that is thrown against the wall.
Firing someone, letting someone go or writing a “Dear John” letter (now a Tweet) is a delicate business. The Donald Trump approach is certainly entertaining to watch, especially when you are not on the receiving end. For me, this sledgehammer approach is not my style or preference, simply because there is a human being at the end of your decision.
You never know what may happen when you fire someone. A worst case scenario happened last week at the University of Alabama at Huntsville where a biology professor who was denied tenure shot and killed three faculty members including her chairman and wounded three others.
The abrupt firing without warning is a mine field of possibilities. The short warning for firing someone is “Look before you leap.” The long warning is that, despite your careful preparation, Murphy’s Law may prevail. The best “firing’ needs to be choreographed carefully.
UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:
March 3, 2010 – A Conversation with James Baldwin - Gary Sheinfeld, a long-time Touro English professor, was a friend of James Baldwin. In this reading Timothy Taylor, Associate Dean of Students, will portray Mr. Baldwin, and Gary Sheinfeld will play himself.
Shortly before Baldwin’s death in 1987, Sheinfeld recorded a conversation with the famous American author, probably his last recorded words. Among Baldwin’s works are “Go Tell It on the Mountain”(1953), “ Giovanni’s Room” (956), “Another Country”(1962), “The Fire Next Time” (1963) and a play “Blues for Mr. Charlie” (1964).
March 10, 2010 - “The Power of No” The word “No” is a powerful word. Negatives always are. “No” is the favorite word of a two-year-old child. “No” blocks forward movement. “No” stops the thinking of some people. “No” provokes negative emotions. “No” can be a powerful position. What do you feel when you say “No”? What do you do? Swear at the person who says “No.” We have lots to talk about. And then there’s passive resistance…..
March 17, 2010 -“Cold Calling in Sales” We are approached by salespeople all the time, even on the phone. “Hi, how are you? I have this great offer…” The sales process runs the gamut from slowly developed persuasion using a variety of tactics to the cold call – the abrupt asking for the prospective customer to buy a product or a service. We’ll take a microscope to this sales technique and do some role plays.
What about one of these topics?
“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”
“Repetition”
“Meaning”
“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”
“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”
“Heroism”
“Concentration”
“Coping with Adversity”
“Distraction”
Dean Donne Kampel on “Women & Leadership”
Student Poetry showcase
“Empathy”
“Connecting the Dots”
Role play of cynical people
“Science and Art –Is There a Conflict?” Led by Charles Borkhuis
And dozens of others!
What happened on Wednesday,
February 3, 2010?
Compare the notice of the session with what really happened!
“Asking Questions in Class”-
I have noticed in my classes that most students don’t ask a lot of questions, other than “When is class over?” I don’t know why. I must be a boring teacher. Maybe the students have been things to do with their minds. For me, questioning is the best avenue of learning anything. When you ask questions, your mind is engaged with the material. When you ask questions on a date, your mind is engaged in the relationship. You know the old adage, “The only dumb question is the one that isn’t asked.” Let’s see what happens.
The session began with newcomer Brittany Robles, the new work study student for the Communication Department having a conversation with Hal Wicke. Slowly over the next two hours, Jermaine Nurse, James Millner, Lorinda Moore, Charles Mason, Carlisle Yearwood, Drani Gabu and Chui Hing Yaw joined the conversation. Hal distributed a handout on questions.
Hal put on the board a number of ideas, none of which were really addressed in the discussion.
· What is a question?
· Why do you ask a question?
· How do you “frame” your question?
· What do you listen for in a response?
o Direct response
o Indirect response
o Non-response
o Stone-walling
o Evasive response
· Developing a questioning strategy
o Playing dumb
o Going on a fishing trip
The conversation was too meandering to take notes, jumping from statements to anecdotes. Among the comments were;
· Fake questions
· You go into a shell when you are afraid to ask a question
· “There is no such thing as a dumb question.”
· “The dumb question is the one that isn’t asked.”
· “I have to remove myself from a difficult emotional situation to be able to use my brain to ask a question.”
· “Not being heard.”
· What about the student who doesn’t say anything until the end?
· Attitudes provoke questions
· Customers don’t ask questions of the salespeople (lots of anecdotes)
· You have to know a lot to ask a question.
· What does your gut say? Does it feel strange? Hemingway’s ‘crap detection”
You don’t have to know very much at all if you trust your gut and have Kipling’s “Seven Helping Hands”
These are “Question stems” – Who, What, Where, When, Which, Why and How. All questions can be built from these question stems.
Hal concluded by going through the Question and Answer handout.
---
We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.
Hal Wicke
Three Communication Quotes of the Week
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit.
George Carlin, the late American comedian
If you are not fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
Vince Lombardi, legendary Green Bay Packers coach
Every time I walk down the street, people are screaming, “You’re fired!”
Donald Trump, NYC real estate mogul and television personality
The Touro Communication Club
2 pm - Wednesday, February 24, 2010– Room 223
“How Do You Fire Someone?”
In our work or love life, we may have been fired or told to get lost. Why does this happen? Can you tell if you are going to be fired? What do you say to someone who you want to get rid of? Lots of emotion surrounds these situations. We’ll talk about some ways to prepare to fire someone as well as your options if you suddenly learn you’ve been fired.
A Note to Communicators:
How Do You Fire Someone?
“You’re fired!” was made famous by Donald Trump, one of America’s outstanding self-promoters as well as real estate mogul, on his narcissistic television reality show, “The Apprentice.”
In order for one candidate to become Trump’s “apprentice” for a year had to survive twelve weeks of elimination projects. For those who didn’t make it, Trump imperiously pronounced his infamous sentence,” You’re fired!” Meekly, the ostracized aspiring job applicant trundled off in a cab, muttering how poorly Trump had treated him.
Although to “fire someone” is usually associated with business practices, I am interested in the phenomenon of an abrupt end to any relationship. Certainly a job dismissal comes to mind often. But what about a rupture in a relationship when a bond has been created?
On both sides, the person who does the “firing” and the person being “fired” have issues which usually involve some level of miscommunication. Each party presumes that he/she is functioning successfully until signals appear that the relationship is not operating successfully.
What are some of those signals? Some small signals might be a word is misspoken or a promise is broken or an appointment is missed. More obvious signals include profanity, hitting or denial of promotion.
In any relationship, once there is a bond created – emotional or legal or business – there is a level of trust that is established between two parties. Each expects the other to operate honestly and candidly.
However, often both parties attach different meanings to the relationship, even a formal one like a marriage (Tiger Woods and a slew of politicians come to mind. The informal or formal contract is violated when “the party of the first part” does not live up to the definition of “the partyof the second part.” When the level of misunderstanding grows to the point of unbearable emotional tension, a rupture of some kind will occur.
This phenomenon happens frequently in daily human politics, but the possibility of a rupture is ever present in international politics. Two examples come to mind:
· In September, 1938, with the alarming rise of Nazi Germany, English Prime Minister, Neville Chamberlain, along with other European leaders, met with Adolf Hitler and got his agreement not to pursue his aggression. Chamberlain came home proclaiming, “We have peace in our time,” as he held up the document to cheering crowds. Back in Berlin, Hitler tore up the agreement and ordered his tanks to roll into the Sudetenland, which was part of Czechoslovakia at the time.
· This week (February, 2010), on BBC Radio, a Chinese official vowed that if the United States was not “cooperating” with China. If the U.S. didn’t “cooperate,” the Chinese government would give Iran nuclear capability, call in American debt and refuse to buy American goods. This issue is already a “sticky wicket” for both countries.
The professional politicians we elect are supposed to understand this behavior and hopefully prepare for it. Unfortunately, like us regular folk, these world leaders often don’t understand one another’s behavior. These leaders are subject to the same frailties. Like us, we don’t “connect the dots.”
So if we are try to build our own ideal communication world, perhaps we can prepare ourselves for these possibilities. In short, we have to prepare for a reality that is not so nice.
· We need to prepare for bullying behavior.
· We need to prepare for people to have different perceptions of the same situation.
· We need to prepare for people to lie – consciously or unconsciously Hopefully, we don’t practice lying.
· We need to prepare for chickanery, which includes a variety of deceptive words and deeds interpersonally or in a legal setting.
· We need to prepare for evasive behavior and/or stonewalling
· We have to prepare for a rupture even as we enter a relationship. Colin Powell called it “an exit strategy.
· We have to prepare for Murphy’s Law by having Plan B, Plan C, Plan D, etc.
How do you prepare for the possibility of difficult behavior? Or in this case,how do you prepare to fire someone?
The preparation for the act of firing someone happens well before the actual incident. You must make sure all parties are clear about the standards of behavior that you expect, as the boss or a partner in a personal relationship.
· Yet we have to be emotionally prepared for a rupture. Our study of the Laws of Murphy s should have prepared us for “Crap Detection,” one of Ernest Hemingway’s strategies.
· We need to examine our solar plexus for physical indications of emotional and/or physical distress. Our intellectual and emotional radar must be turned on to at least notice negative or non-productive stimuli
· We need to notice patterns of stimuli that do not meet with our own standards of behavior.
· We need to keep a journal of activities – date, time, description of the incident.
· We need to make the other party aware of issues which are of concern to us. In business, it is called a “paper trail.”
· Once a negative pattern has been identified and verified with our own observation, we need to begin to formulate a plan of action.
· We need to reflect on the timing of the firing, the style of confrontation, the words we will use and the follow-through after the moment.
· We need to train mentally and emotionally for the moment of confrontation. You must be
· If we are ethical people, we cannot fire someone in a fit of anger.
· We must remember that this person is a human being with feelings, family and a human context, the person is not a thing and object that is thrown against the wall.
Firing someone, letting someone go or writing a “Dear John” letter (now a Tweet) is a delicate business. The Donald Trump approach is certainly entertaining to watch, especially when you are not on the receiving end. For me, this sledgehammer approach is not my style or preference, simply because there is a human being at the end of your decision.
You never know what may happen when you fire someone. A worst case scenario happened last week at the University of Alabama at Huntsville where a biology professor who was denied tenure shot and killed three faculty members including her chairman and wounded three others.
The abrupt firing without warning is a mine field of possibilities. The short warning for firing someone is “Look before you leap.” The long warning is that, despite your careful preparation, Murphy’s Law may prevail. The best “firing’ needs to be choreographed carefully.
UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:
March 3, 2010 – A Conversation with James Baldwin - Gary Sheinfeld, a long-time Touro English professor, was a friend of James Baldwin. In this reading Timothy Taylor, Associate Dean of Students, will portray Mr. Baldwin, and Gary Sheinfeld will play himself.
Shortly before Baldwin’s death in 1987, Sheinfeld recorded a conversation with the famous American author, probably his last recorded words. Among Baldwin’s works are “Go Tell It on the Mountain”(1953), “ Giovanni’s Room” (956), “Another Country”(1962), “The Fire Next Time” (1963) and a play “Blues for Mr. Charlie” (1964).
March 10, 2010 - “The Power of No” The word “No” is a powerful word. Negatives always are. “No” is the favorite word of a two-year-old child. “No” blocks forward movement. “No” stops the thinking of some people. “No” provokes negative emotions. “No” can be a powerful position. What do you feel when you say “No”? What do you do? Swear at the person who says “No.” We have lots to talk about. And then there’s passive resistance…..
March 17, 2010 -“Cold Calling in Sales” We are approached by salespeople all the time, even on the phone. “Hi, how are you? I have this great offer…” The sales process runs the gamut from slowly developed persuasion using a variety of tactics to the cold call – the abrupt asking for the prospective customer to buy a product or a service. We’ll take a microscope to this sales technique and do some role plays.
What about one of these topics?
“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”
“Repetition”
“Meaning”
“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”
“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”
“Heroism”
“Concentration”
“Coping with Adversity”
“Distraction”
Dean Donne Kampel on “Women & Leadership”
Student Poetry showcase
“Empathy”
“Connecting the Dots”
Role play of cynical people
“Science and Art –Is There a Conflict?” Led by Charles Borkhuis
And dozens of others!
What happened on Wednesday,
February 3, 2010?
Compare the notice of the session with what really happened!
“Asking Questions in Class”-
I have noticed in my classes that most students don’t ask a lot of questions, other than “When is class over?” I don’t know why. I must be a boring teacher. Maybe the students have been things to do with their minds. For me, questioning is the best avenue of learning anything. When you ask questions, your mind is engaged with the material. When you ask questions on a date, your mind is engaged in the relationship. You know the old adage, “The only dumb question is the one that isn’t asked.” Let’s see what happens.
The session began with newcomer Brittany Robles, the new work study student for the Communication Department having a conversation with Hal Wicke. Slowly over the next two hours, Jermaine Nurse, James Millner, Lorinda Moore, Charles Mason, Carlisle Yearwood, Drani Gabu and Chui Hing Yaw joined the conversation. Hal distributed a handout on questions.
Hal put on the board a number of ideas, none of which were really addressed in the discussion.
· What is a question?
· Why do you ask a question?
· How do you “frame” your question?
· What do you listen for in a response?
o Direct response
o Indirect response
o Non-response
o Stone-walling
o Evasive response
· Developing a questioning strategy
o Playing dumb
o Going on a fishing trip
The conversation was too meandering to take notes, jumping from statements to anecdotes. Among the comments were;
· Fake questions
· You go into a shell when you are afraid to ask a question
· “There is no such thing as a dumb question.”
· “The dumb question is the one that isn’t asked.”
· “I have to remove myself from a difficult emotional situation to be able to use my brain to ask a question.”
· “Not being heard.”
· What about the student who doesn’t say anything until the end?
· Attitudes provoke questions
· Customers don’t ask questions of the salespeople (lots of anecdotes)
· You have to know a lot to ask a question.
· What does your gut say? Does it feel strange? Hemingway’s ‘crap detection”
You don’t have to know very much at all if you trust your gut and have Kipling’s “Seven Helping Hands”
These are “Question stems” – Who, What, Where, When, Which, Why and How. All questions can be built from these question stems.
Hal concluded by going through the Question and Answer handout.
---
We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.
Hal Wicke
The Touro Communication Club Notes - #105 – February 10, 2010 Tourocommunicationclub.blogspot.com
Five Communication Quotes of the Week
He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.
Chinese Proverb
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
Albert Einstein, Theoretical physicist
The essential question is not, "How busy are you?" but "What are you busy at?”Are you doing what fulfills you?"
Oprah Winfrey, American talk show host and entrepreneur
It is far wiser to ask for a question than an answer. When you think you have all the answers, it simply means you have run out of questions.
Leonard Jacobson, Australian born lawyer turned spiritual healer
The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge. ~
Thomas Berger, American author,
Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?
George Bush, 43rd President of the U.S.
The Touro Communication Club
2 pm - Wednesday, February10, 2010– Room 223
“Asking Questions in Class”-
I have noticed in my classes that most students don’t ask a lot of questions, other than “When is class over?” I don’t know why. I must be a boring teacher. Maybe the students have been things to do with their minds. For me, questioning is the best avenue of learning anything. When you ask questions, your mind is engaged with the material. When you ask questions on a date, your mind is engaged in the relationship. You know the old adage, “The only dumb question is the one that isn’t asked.” Let’s see what happens.
A Note to Communicators:
Questions and Questioning
In this age of an ever increasing speed and exploding media, we are inundated by some two billion stimuli each day. No matter what we do we cannot screen out all of these blips on our mental, emotional and physical radar. We are constantly in a heavy downpour and our raincoat leaks.
We have several choices. We can try to ignore the stimuli entirely. We can try to let in only those stimuli that we want. We can open our beings to constantly wash over by the stimuli, tossed about like a dingy in a perfect storm.
My strategy is to try to stay in the rain and observe what is happening and watch me getting wet. I watch. I listen. I feel. I try to experience the stimuli without being overwhelmed by it.
I try to use the actor’s technique of being inside and outside the experience simultaneously. I try to become aware.
With conscious practice, you may become aware. Very hard work and something you cannot do a couple of times a week.
Awareness becomes the mindfulness of the Buddhist. That mindfulness creates a presence. You are conscious of much that is happening as it is happening .without being overwhelmed.
That awareness leads to looking for patterns. What is the same? What is different? What repeats? What’s positive? negative?
Then our collected information in an environment of awareness is ready for questions and questioning. These tools clarify undifferentiated experience. These tools sharpen the experience. They put the movie into focus. The ambient white noise vanishes.
Questioning becomes an attitude toward life. Nothing is above questioning. Everything is open to be challenged.
CAVEAT (Warning) Mind you, some people don’t like to be questioned or challenged. Dictators and people who say, “My way or the highway” don’t like questions. But that is another story, the story of politics.)
Questions capture the essence of a mind which notices that many things are not as they are presented to us. Public speakers often use quotations that include questions.
During his 1968 campaign for president, Robert F. Kennedy’s captured the core of a questioning mind with this gem, originally from G. B. Shaw’s Back to Methuselah
“Some men see things as they are and say, 'Why'? I dream of things that never were and say, 'Why not'?"
RFK took another quote from Rabbi Hillel, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now -- when?"
Both quotations use question “stems’ to create rhetorical impact. “Why,” “Who,” “What” and “When” are four of Rudyard Kipling’s “Six Helping Hands.”
The “Kipling Method” (5W1H) comes from his piece of doggerel,
I have six honest serving men
They taught me all I knew
I call them What and Where and When
And How and Why and Who. (cf., changingminds.org)
I would add a 7th helping hand, “Which,” to complete the list of question “stems.” With each of these question stems, you can get at a number of issues behind the surface.
Why should we be interested in questions? Asking questions is a fundamental part of finding information and for subtle (and otherwise) persuasion.
Questions are tools and, like all tools, they can become weapons. In the hands of someone whose power is threatened, they can intimidate, embarrass, or stonewall. Lawyers hone their questioning skills to destroy a witness. Two-year-olds and teenagers use questions to stonewall a decision made by their parents. A political demagogue will use questions to hammer away at an opponent.
We’ll explore questioning strategies at a later time. In the meantime, in class, listen to your professors and ask questions. As the club blurb says above, “The only dumb question is the one that isn’t asked.”
UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:
February 17, 2010 –“How Do You Fire Someone?” In our work or love life, we may have been fired or told to get lost. Why does this happen? Can you tell if you are going to be fired? What do you say to someone who you want to get rid of? Lots of emotion surrounds these situations. We’ll talk about some ways to prepare to fire someone as well as your options if you suddenly learn you’ve been fired.
February 24, 2010 – “The Power of No” The word “No” is a powerful word. Negatives always are. “No” is the favorite word of a two-year-old child. “No” blocks forward movement. “No” stops the thinking of some people. “No” provokes negative emotions. “No” can be a powerful position. What do you feel when you say “No”? What do you do? Swear at the person who says “No.” We have lots to talk about. And then there’s passive resistance…..
March 3, 2010 -“Cold Calling in Sales” We are approached by salespeople all the time, even on the phone. “Hi, how are you? I have this great offer…” The sales process runs the gamut from slowly developed persuasion using a variety of tactics to the cold call – the abrupt asking for the prospective customer to buy a product or a service. We’ll take a microscope to this sales technique and do some role plays.
What about one of these topics?
“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”
“Repetition”
“Meaning”
“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”
“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”
“Heroism”
“Concentration”
“Coping with Adversity”
“Distraction”
Dean Donne Kampel on “Women & Leadership”
James Baldwin Dialogue featuring two Touro faculty members,
Student Poetry showcase
“Empathy”
“Connecting the Dots”
Role play of cynical people
And dozens of others!
What happened on Wednesday,
February 3, 2010?
Compare the notice of the session with what really happened!
“Student Needs”
On this first week of class, it is appropriate that we focus on what students need. This topic came up during one of the Club discussions. It was unclear which direction it could go – personal needs, school needs, needs for the past, present or future. We’ll start with a “tabula rasa” (a blank slate) and see where we go.
Amar Gabriel joined the group for part of the time but the discussion was dominated by some of the regulars including Richard Green, Jean Missial, Pamela Sheppard, James Millner, Carlisle Yearwood, Drani Gabu, Ronald Johnson and Hal Wicke.
Each student described a situation where they found themselves frustrated at both the process and the outcome. Usually the frustration comes with unarticulated expectations.
Everyone described their own situation and there frustrations. There seemed to be a pattern. Preconceived expectations about how things should work. Among the expectations, students want
Everything should be explained to them in advance.
Everything about the college process to be clear.
Everyone should be knowledgeable about what they do.
Everyone should be a provider of solutions to their problems.
Everyone cater to their needs.
Often they find that information given them is confusing and conflicting.
There is a strong unspoken expectation that since students are the “customers,” they should be given 5-star service, like the Ritz-Carlton hotels.
What they find too often is;
· Many people are not helpful.
· People who give them bad or wrong information which delays completion of registration or graduation.
· There is “no hand-holding” by Touro. With exceptions, everyone is on their own.
· The orientation is not helpful and too short. (Drani compared his experience at Columbia with its day-long orientation.)
· There is no support group for students to turn to.
· Advisement often gives bad information or makes wrong assignments.
· Bad attitudes
· Obstacles of all sorts
· Misconceptions by everyone
The lessons of the discussion include:
· You are responsible for yourself.
· You must become proactive. “You must be the hunter.”
What kinds of strategies should the student employ?
· Notice where the problems are
· Bring them to the attention of the people in charge – be proactive.
· Trust, but verify (Ronald Reagan)
· Observe the many different cultures at Touro.
· Learn to take care of yourself.
· Pace yourself.
· Prioritize.
· Learn to juggle many things simultaneously.
· Learn to translate from jargon to language you understand – perhaps English?
The toughest lesson in these kinds of circumstances is to remain objective and not overcome with your emotions. Dealing with frustration and anger is something we all have to learn.
There are so many Communication issues in this discussion that perhaps we can examine our Communication skills to develop strategies to understand better factors such as:
· Emotions (frustration, anger)
· Taming your tongue (your verbal and non-verbal responses)
· Language (productive language vs. profanity)
· Perception (You say it’s terrible, I say it’s wonderful.)
· Power (the student is a victim, the teacher is all powerful)
· Expectations (My way is the only way.)
· Patience
· Response to mistakes
· Giving and taking criticism
· Being cynical about the situation
Several in the group wanted to do something about these issues and there was some talk about forming a “focus group” to develop a more concrete list of concerns. But the group broke up without anything definite decided on.
It becomes clear that the Touro Communication Club is a group that is interested in “talking.” Action is the province of someone else.
But who?
We should call ourselves the “Touro Chowder and Marching Society.” The only thing that is missing is the beer.
---
We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.
Hal Wicke
Five Communication Quotes of the Week
He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.
Chinese Proverb
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
Albert Einstein, Theoretical physicist
The essential question is not, "How busy are you?" but "What are you busy at?”Are you doing what fulfills you?"
Oprah Winfrey, American talk show host and entrepreneur
It is far wiser to ask for a question than an answer. When you think you have all the answers, it simply means you have run out of questions.
Leonard Jacobson, Australian born lawyer turned spiritual healer
The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge. ~
Thomas Berger, American author,
Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?
George Bush, 43rd President of the U.S.
The Touro Communication Club
2 pm - Wednesday, February10, 2010– Room 223
“Asking Questions in Class”-
I have noticed in my classes that most students don’t ask a lot of questions, other than “When is class over?” I don’t know why. I must be a boring teacher. Maybe the students have been things to do with their minds. For me, questioning is the best avenue of learning anything. When you ask questions, your mind is engaged with the material. When you ask questions on a date, your mind is engaged in the relationship. You know the old adage, “The only dumb question is the one that isn’t asked.” Let’s see what happens.
A Note to Communicators:
Questions and Questioning
In this age of an ever increasing speed and exploding media, we are inundated by some two billion stimuli each day. No matter what we do we cannot screen out all of these blips on our mental, emotional and physical radar. We are constantly in a heavy downpour and our raincoat leaks.
We have several choices. We can try to ignore the stimuli entirely. We can try to let in only those stimuli that we want. We can open our beings to constantly wash over by the stimuli, tossed about like a dingy in a perfect storm.
My strategy is to try to stay in the rain and observe what is happening and watch me getting wet. I watch. I listen. I feel. I try to experience the stimuli without being overwhelmed by it.
I try to use the actor’s technique of being inside and outside the experience simultaneously. I try to become aware.
With conscious practice, you may become aware. Very hard work and something you cannot do a couple of times a week.
Awareness becomes the mindfulness of the Buddhist. That mindfulness creates a presence. You are conscious of much that is happening as it is happening .without being overwhelmed.
That awareness leads to looking for patterns. What is the same? What is different? What repeats? What’s positive? negative?
Then our collected information in an environment of awareness is ready for questions and questioning. These tools clarify undifferentiated experience. These tools sharpen the experience. They put the movie into focus. The ambient white noise vanishes.
Questioning becomes an attitude toward life. Nothing is above questioning. Everything is open to be challenged.
CAVEAT (Warning) Mind you, some people don’t like to be questioned or challenged. Dictators and people who say, “My way or the highway” don’t like questions. But that is another story, the story of politics.)
Questions capture the essence of a mind which notices that many things are not as they are presented to us. Public speakers often use quotations that include questions.
During his 1968 campaign for president, Robert F. Kennedy’s captured the core of a questioning mind with this gem, originally from G. B. Shaw’s Back to Methuselah
“Some men see things as they are and say, 'Why'? I dream of things that never were and say, 'Why not'?"
RFK took another quote from Rabbi Hillel, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now -- when?"
Both quotations use question “stems’ to create rhetorical impact. “Why,” “Who,” “What” and “When” are four of Rudyard Kipling’s “Six Helping Hands.”
The “Kipling Method” (5W1H) comes from his piece of doggerel,
I have six honest serving men
They taught me all I knew
I call them What and Where and When
And How and Why and Who. (cf., changingminds.org)
I would add a 7th helping hand, “Which,” to complete the list of question “stems.” With each of these question stems, you can get at a number of issues behind the surface.
Why should we be interested in questions? Asking questions is a fundamental part of finding information and for subtle (and otherwise) persuasion.
Questions are tools and, like all tools, they can become weapons. In the hands of someone whose power is threatened, they can intimidate, embarrass, or stonewall. Lawyers hone their questioning skills to destroy a witness. Two-year-olds and teenagers use questions to stonewall a decision made by their parents. A political demagogue will use questions to hammer away at an opponent.
We’ll explore questioning strategies at a later time. In the meantime, in class, listen to your professors and ask questions. As the club blurb says above, “The only dumb question is the one that isn’t asked.”
UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:
February 17, 2010 –“How Do You Fire Someone?” In our work or love life, we may have been fired or told to get lost. Why does this happen? Can you tell if you are going to be fired? What do you say to someone who you want to get rid of? Lots of emotion surrounds these situations. We’ll talk about some ways to prepare to fire someone as well as your options if you suddenly learn you’ve been fired.
February 24, 2010 – “The Power of No” The word “No” is a powerful word. Negatives always are. “No” is the favorite word of a two-year-old child. “No” blocks forward movement. “No” stops the thinking of some people. “No” provokes negative emotions. “No” can be a powerful position. What do you feel when you say “No”? What do you do? Swear at the person who says “No.” We have lots to talk about. And then there’s passive resistance…..
March 3, 2010 -“Cold Calling in Sales” We are approached by salespeople all the time, even on the phone. “Hi, how are you? I have this great offer…” The sales process runs the gamut from slowly developed persuasion using a variety of tactics to the cold call – the abrupt asking for the prospective customer to buy a product or a service. We’ll take a microscope to this sales technique and do some role plays.
What about one of these topics?
“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”
“Repetition”
“Meaning”
“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”
“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”
“Heroism”
“Concentration”
“Coping with Adversity”
“Distraction”
Dean Donne Kampel on “Women & Leadership”
James Baldwin Dialogue featuring two Touro faculty members,
Student Poetry showcase
“Empathy”
“Connecting the Dots”
Role play of cynical people
And dozens of others!
What happened on Wednesday,
February 3, 2010?
Compare the notice of the session with what really happened!
“Student Needs”
On this first week of class, it is appropriate that we focus on what students need. This topic came up during one of the Club discussions. It was unclear which direction it could go – personal needs, school needs, needs for the past, present or future. We’ll start with a “tabula rasa” (a blank slate) and see where we go.
Amar Gabriel joined the group for part of the time but the discussion was dominated by some of the regulars including Richard Green, Jean Missial, Pamela Sheppard, James Millner, Carlisle Yearwood, Drani Gabu, Ronald Johnson and Hal Wicke.
Each student described a situation where they found themselves frustrated at both the process and the outcome. Usually the frustration comes with unarticulated expectations.
Everyone described their own situation and there frustrations. There seemed to be a pattern. Preconceived expectations about how things should work. Among the expectations, students want
Everything should be explained to them in advance.
Everything about the college process to be clear.
Everyone should be knowledgeable about what they do.
Everyone should be a provider of solutions to their problems.
Everyone cater to their needs.
Often they find that information given them is confusing and conflicting.
There is a strong unspoken expectation that since students are the “customers,” they should be given 5-star service, like the Ritz-Carlton hotels.
What they find too often is;
· Many people are not helpful.
· People who give them bad or wrong information which delays completion of registration or graduation.
· There is “no hand-holding” by Touro. With exceptions, everyone is on their own.
· The orientation is not helpful and too short. (Drani compared his experience at Columbia with its day-long orientation.)
· There is no support group for students to turn to.
· Advisement often gives bad information or makes wrong assignments.
· Bad attitudes
· Obstacles of all sorts
· Misconceptions by everyone
The lessons of the discussion include:
· You are responsible for yourself.
· You must become proactive. “You must be the hunter.”
What kinds of strategies should the student employ?
· Notice where the problems are
· Bring them to the attention of the people in charge – be proactive.
· Trust, but verify (Ronald Reagan)
· Observe the many different cultures at Touro.
· Learn to take care of yourself.
· Pace yourself.
· Prioritize.
· Learn to juggle many things simultaneously.
· Learn to translate from jargon to language you understand – perhaps English?
The toughest lesson in these kinds of circumstances is to remain objective and not overcome with your emotions. Dealing with frustration and anger is something we all have to learn.
There are so many Communication issues in this discussion that perhaps we can examine our Communication skills to develop strategies to understand better factors such as:
· Emotions (frustration, anger)
· Taming your tongue (your verbal and non-verbal responses)
· Language (productive language vs. profanity)
· Perception (You say it’s terrible, I say it’s wonderful.)
· Power (the student is a victim, the teacher is all powerful)
· Expectations (My way is the only way.)
· Patience
· Response to mistakes
· Giving and taking criticism
· Being cynical about the situation
Several in the group wanted to do something about these issues and there was some talk about forming a “focus group” to develop a more concrete list of concerns. But the group broke up without anything definite decided on.
It becomes clear that the Touro Communication Club is a group that is interested in “talking.” Action is the province of someone else.
But who?
We should call ourselves the “Touro Chowder and Marching Society.” The only thing that is missing is the beer.
---
We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.
Hal Wicke
The Touro Communication Club Notes - #104 – February 3, 2010 Tourocommunicationclub.blogspot.com
Five Communication Quotes of the Week
“Whenever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th Century American essayist and poet
“Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.”
Clare Boothe Luce, American playwright, Congresswoman, ambassador,
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt, civil rights activist, First Lady from 1933-1945
“If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.”
Martin Luther King, Jr. in “The Trumpet of Conscience,” American clergyman
and civil rights activist
“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”
Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister during World War II, author, orator
The Touro Communication Club
2 pm - Wednesday, February 3, 2010– Room 223
“Student Needs”
On this first week of class, it is appropriate that we focus on what students need. This topic came up during one of the Club discussions. It was unclear which direction it could go – personal needs, school needs, needs for the past, present or future. We’ll start with a “tabula rasa” (a blank slate) and see where we go.
A Note to Communicators:
In the Lion’s Den
In “The Wizard of Oz,” the Cowardly Lion needs courage so the Wizard pins a medal on him and suddenly he believes he has courage.
Such an external badge of courage is certainly not what President Obama was expecting when he went to the Republican Conference in Baltimore the day after his first State of the Union Speech.
What the media labeled as “Going into the Lion’s Den” and “having courage,” says more about the media than it does President Obama. He did not have to “screw his courage to the sticking place,” as Lady Macbeth advises her husband.
Despite the Democrat’s loss in Massachusetts the week before, Obama felt that he has a mission to complete. “I don’t quit,” he asserted in his speech on Wednesday. Completing his mission is a characteristic of commitment, not courage.
It is quite simple when you are committed to something or someone. You just do it. No hesitation. It’s just part of the job. You don’t know any other way. No drama. It just is.
Leadership, as we talked about last week, is not about popularity, although Obama is certainly popular. However, popularity is fickle, It’s like fireworks on the 4th of July – pretty and then gone. Popularity is about the person’s ethos. It helps for a leader to be popular, but leadership is more than responding to the whims of the public.
Leadership is about commitment to certain principles, regardless of the political weather. Leadership is not about taking polls or assembling focus groups.
Leadership demands daring, well-timed and unexpected actions. This is an important strategy. It is a daring and unexpected strategy for Obama to appear before the opposition party in the current hostile atmosphere where the Republicans consistently oppose 100% any Democratic proposal.
Once Obama made the decision to address the Republicans, he could follow other presidents and just talk to them privately... He already knows he’s going into a hostile territory. To raise the ante, Obama chose to have a Question-and-Answer period following his speech with the cameras rolling.
Clearly, confidence is the sibling of commitment. Preparation makes for confidence. Obama knows his audience. He knows the issues. He know the Republican strategy of saying “No” everything. His experience under pressure allows him to anticipate every question, every attitude.
I actually thought Obama was “playing” with the Republicans. The staging was crucial. Physically he was above the audience and behind a lecture with the Presidential seal on it. Lots of power symbols.
The light was on the President. The audience was in a subordinate position below him and in relative darkness. The theatrical non-verbals of were all against the Republicans. The lions seemed to be defanged.
While he was in the lion’s den, he asserted his position, but allowed the subordinate Republicans to score a few points. Obama did not have to be defensive: He was the President and he was in charge of his message.
Against the picture of a person in entire control of himself and the situation, the Republican leadership of John Boehner, Eric Cantor and Mike Pence looked grumpy and unhappy.
Let me make my position clear. I am separating his political positions from his communication skills.- our primary interest in the club. I am observing President Obama as a superb communicator, the best in many, many years. The messenger’s ethos must enhance his message.
UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:
February 10, 2010 - “Asking Questions in Class”- I have noticed in my classes that most students don’t ask a lot of questions, other than “When is class over?” I don’t know why. I must be boring. Maybe the students have been things to do with their minds. For me, questioning is the best avenue of learning anything. When you ask questions, your mind is engaged with the material. When you ask questions on a date, your mind is engaged in the relationship. Let’s see what happens.
February 17, 2010 –“How Do You Fire Someone?” In our work or love life, we may have been fired or told to get lost. Why does this happen? Can you tell if you are going to be fired? What do you say to someone who you want to get rid of? Lots of emotion surrounds these situations. We’ll talk about some ways to prepare to fire someone as well as your options if you suddenly learn you’ve been fired.
February 24, 2010 – “The Power of No” The word “No” is a powerful word. Negatives always are. “No” is the favorite word of a two-year-old child. “No” blocks forward movement. “No” stops the thinking of some people. “No” provokes negative emotions. “No” can be a powerful position. What do you feel when you say “No”? What do you do? Swear at the person who says “No.” We have lots to talk about. And then there’s passive resistance…..
What about one of these topics?
“Cold Calling in Sales”
“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”
“Repetition”
“Meaning”
“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”
“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”
“Heroism”
“Concentration”
“Coping with Adversity”
“Distraction”
Dean Donne Kampel on “Women & Leadership”
James Baldwin Dialogue featuring two Touro faculty members,
Student Poetry showcase
“Empathy”
“Connecting the Dots”
Role play of cynical people
And dozens of others!
What happened on Wednesday,
January 13, 2010?
Compare the notice of the session with what really happened
“Leadership”
We are surrounded and led by people who have titles, but are they “leaders”? Advertising tells us if we buy their product, we can be “leaders.” Are you a “leader” if you are a single working mom with three kids who’s going to Touro? Are leaders the ones who are on TV? What is a leader? How do you get to be a leader? We’ll explore this topic and Professor George Backinoff’s favorite version of leadership he calls “Followership.”
Rosica Mohammed joined us for the first time (She was waiting for her mother to pick her up.) Other regulars included Donne Kampel, Charles Mason, Lorinda Moore, James Millner, Ronald Johnson, Jermaine Nurse, Drani Gabu, Carlisle Yearwood and Hal Wicke.
Hal put several items on the blackboard:
· Watch President Obama’s State of the Union Speech tonight at 9 pm.
· “A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste.”
· “Great Beginnings, Lousy Endings?”
· Relationships, New semesters, New jobs - Election campaign vs. governing
· “Connecting the Dots”
· Definition – Situation – Formal & Informal – Adversaries – Decision Making
The discussion got off to a quick start discussing President Obama’s ‘State of the Union” speech. There was a lot of back and forth on Obama’s perceived ability to run the country.
· The failure of Obama’s attempt at bipartisan governing in the face of the Republicans refusing to vote for ANY of the Democratic legislation, particularly health care in the Senate.
· The Massachusetts election ten days ago in which the Democratic candidate for the late Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat lost to an unknown Republican, Scott Brown.
· The Supreme Court 5-4 decision on free speech to allow corporations which are considered individual people to spend unlimited money on the candidates and issues of their choice.
Several words - tabula rasa (blank slate) – and issues had to be explained so everyone would understand the context. The subjunctive - shoulda, coulda, woulda – needs to be used sparingly.
· Obama is popular as a person
· Health care is dead
· The lessons of the Clintons in the 1990s on health care were disregarded.
· The loss of Massachusetts equals the loss of Ted Kennedy’s legacy on health care.
· Obama accused of socialism.
· Donne asked, “What am I expecting to be his (Obama’s) plan for leadership?
· JFK – “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”
· Franklin Roosevelt – “Nothing to fear but fear itself.” – Works Projects Administration,
· George H.W. Bush – “A thousand points of light.”
· Machiavelli and “The Prince”
· The Baby Boomers – born 1946-1964 – are affected health care.
· Obama’s skin color – Harry Reid’s comment quoted in “Game Change”
· Veiled attacks on Obama’s person, e.g., birthers.
· Coakley’s campaign in Massachusetts was badly managed
· “Recount”- the Kevin Spacey film dramatizing the 2000 Presidential Election between Gore and Bush that was decided by the Supreme Court. How Jim Baker planed a “street fight” when Warren Christopher behaved as a gentleman.
· Obama needs “cohones.” He learned his trade in Chicago, famous for its dirty politics.
Jermaine felt that we have to learn one day at a time. The media hyped Obama’s image. He could walk on water. [The New Yorker cover cartoon shows four panels of Obama walking on what appears to be water and then falling in in the last panel.]
· When “take the high road” fails, take the low road.
· Obama should “man up.”
· Obama quote – “I’d rather have one good term than two mediocre terms.”
Carlisle reminded us of T.S. Eliot’s famous 1992 poem, “The Waste Land:” which mourns the desolation of “King Europe” on the face of a baby.
· Obama was a lamb going into a lion’s den.
· A Chicago face on an innocent baby.
· Change starts from within
· “All politics are local.” [The late Congressman Tip O’Neil’s favorite phrase.]
· This is how the Republicans won Massachusetts.
Jermaine reminded us that a President needs to know how to harness the people. “I am one person. I need your help. I need partners. I cannot do this alone.”
· Grass roots organization is the key.
Sidelight – Carlisle speculates that Mayor Bloomberg will run in 2012 because he hired Howard Wolfson, the campaign director of Hillary Clinton’s failed presidential bid.
· “An old broom knows all corners.”
· Create a “Switfboat” negative ad campaign
· Reconfigure, no reconsider.
· Donne Kampel’s forthcoming book, “Women and Leadership” will be a scheduled topic for a club meeting.
· Connecting the dots
· Bill Bradley [NJ Senator and Knicks basketball star] “Whenever you play, you will always meet someone on the court who has worked harder and longer than you have.”
· Wayne Gretzsky [former NY Rangers hockey star, called “The Great One”] – “A good player watches where the puck will be, not where it is.”
· To Obama – don’t talk about scoring, score! Fish or cut bait.
· Better to have half a loaf, than no loaf
· Obama: “I don’t quit.”
Drani – “Make deductions based on evidence – the forest has a lot of trees.”
For the last half hour, people slowly drifted out with other commitments. Only Drani and Hal were left. Drani commented that he “grew my teeth” during these club meetings. Now, he says, he can “chew” issues. This was a touching comment on the value of these sessions.
---
We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.
Hal Wicke
Five Communication Quotes of the Week
“Whenever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th Century American essayist and poet
“Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.”
Clare Boothe Luce, American playwright, Congresswoman, ambassador,
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt, civil rights activist, First Lady from 1933-1945
“If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.”
Martin Luther King, Jr. in “The Trumpet of Conscience,” American clergyman
and civil rights activist
“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”
Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister during World War II, author, orator
The Touro Communication Club
2 pm - Wednesday, February 3, 2010– Room 223
“Student Needs”
On this first week of class, it is appropriate that we focus on what students need. This topic came up during one of the Club discussions. It was unclear which direction it could go – personal needs, school needs, needs for the past, present or future. We’ll start with a “tabula rasa” (a blank slate) and see where we go.
A Note to Communicators:
In the Lion’s Den
In “The Wizard of Oz,” the Cowardly Lion needs courage so the Wizard pins a medal on him and suddenly he believes he has courage.
Such an external badge of courage is certainly not what President Obama was expecting when he went to the Republican Conference in Baltimore the day after his first State of the Union Speech.
What the media labeled as “Going into the Lion’s Den” and “having courage,” says more about the media than it does President Obama. He did not have to “screw his courage to the sticking place,” as Lady Macbeth advises her husband.
Despite the Democrat’s loss in Massachusetts the week before, Obama felt that he has a mission to complete. “I don’t quit,” he asserted in his speech on Wednesday. Completing his mission is a characteristic of commitment, not courage.
It is quite simple when you are committed to something or someone. You just do it. No hesitation. It’s just part of the job. You don’t know any other way. No drama. It just is.
Leadership, as we talked about last week, is not about popularity, although Obama is certainly popular. However, popularity is fickle, It’s like fireworks on the 4th of July – pretty and then gone. Popularity is about the person’s ethos. It helps for a leader to be popular, but leadership is more than responding to the whims of the public.
Leadership is about commitment to certain principles, regardless of the political weather. Leadership is not about taking polls or assembling focus groups.
Leadership demands daring, well-timed and unexpected actions. This is an important strategy. It is a daring and unexpected strategy for Obama to appear before the opposition party in the current hostile atmosphere where the Republicans consistently oppose 100% any Democratic proposal.
Once Obama made the decision to address the Republicans, he could follow other presidents and just talk to them privately... He already knows he’s going into a hostile territory. To raise the ante, Obama chose to have a Question-and-Answer period following his speech with the cameras rolling.
Clearly, confidence is the sibling of commitment. Preparation makes for confidence. Obama knows his audience. He knows the issues. He know the Republican strategy of saying “No” everything. His experience under pressure allows him to anticipate every question, every attitude.
I actually thought Obama was “playing” with the Republicans. The staging was crucial. Physically he was above the audience and behind a lecture with the Presidential seal on it. Lots of power symbols.
The light was on the President. The audience was in a subordinate position below him and in relative darkness. The theatrical non-verbals of were all against the Republicans. The lions seemed to be defanged.
While he was in the lion’s den, he asserted his position, but allowed the subordinate Republicans to score a few points. Obama did not have to be defensive: He was the President and he was in charge of his message.
Against the picture of a person in entire control of himself and the situation, the Republican leadership of John Boehner, Eric Cantor and Mike Pence looked grumpy and unhappy.
Let me make my position clear. I am separating his political positions from his communication skills.- our primary interest in the club. I am observing President Obama as a superb communicator, the best in many, many years. The messenger’s ethos must enhance his message.
UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:
February 10, 2010 - “Asking Questions in Class”- I have noticed in my classes that most students don’t ask a lot of questions, other than “When is class over?” I don’t know why. I must be boring. Maybe the students have been things to do with their minds. For me, questioning is the best avenue of learning anything. When you ask questions, your mind is engaged with the material. When you ask questions on a date, your mind is engaged in the relationship. Let’s see what happens.
February 17, 2010 –“How Do You Fire Someone?” In our work or love life, we may have been fired or told to get lost. Why does this happen? Can you tell if you are going to be fired? What do you say to someone who you want to get rid of? Lots of emotion surrounds these situations. We’ll talk about some ways to prepare to fire someone as well as your options if you suddenly learn you’ve been fired.
February 24, 2010 – “The Power of No” The word “No” is a powerful word. Negatives always are. “No” is the favorite word of a two-year-old child. “No” blocks forward movement. “No” stops the thinking of some people. “No” provokes negative emotions. “No” can be a powerful position. What do you feel when you say “No”? What do you do? Swear at the person who says “No.” We have lots to talk about. And then there’s passive resistance…..
What about one of these topics?
“Cold Calling in Sales”
“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”
“Repetition”
“Meaning”
“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”
“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”
“Heroism”
“Concentration”
“Coping with Adversity”
“Distraction”
Dean Donne Kampel on “Women & Leadership”
James Baldwin Dialogue featuring two Touro faculty members,
Student Poetry showcase
“Empathy”
“Connecting the Dots”
Role play of cynical people
And dozens of others!
What happened on Wednesday,
January 13, 2010?
Compare the notice of the session with what really happened
“Leadership”
We are surrounded and led by people who have titles, but are they “leaders”? Advertising tells us if we buy their product, we can be “leaders.” Are you a “leader” if you are a single working mom with three kids who’s going to Touro? Are leaders the ones who are on TV? What is a leader? How do you get to be a leader? We’ll explore this topic and Professor George Backinoff’s favorite version of leadership he calls “Followership.”
Rosica Mohammed joined us for the first time (She was waiting for her mother to pick her up.) Other regulars included Donne Kampel, Charles Mason, Lorinda Moore, James Millner, Ronald Johnson, Jermaine Nurse, Drani Gabu, Carlisle Yearwood and Hal Wicke.
Hal put several items on the blackboard:
· Watch President Obama’s State of the Union Speech tonight at 9 pm.
· “A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste.”
· “Great Beginnings, Lousy Endings?”
· Relationships, New semesters, New jobs - Election campaign vs. governing
· “Connecting the Dots”
· Definition – Situation – Formal & Informal – Adversaries – Decision Making
The discussion got off to a quick start discussing President Obama’s ‘State of the Union” speech. There was a lot of back and forth on Obama’s perceived ability to run the country.
· The failure of Obama’s attempt at bipartisan governing in the face of the Republicans refusing to vote for ANY of the Democratic legislation, particularly health care in the Senate.
· The Massachusetts election ten days ago in which the Democratic candidate for the late Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat lost to an unknown Republican, Scott Brown.
· The Supreme Court 5-4 decision on free speech to allow corporations which are considered individual people to spend unlimited money on the candidates and issues of their choice.
Several words - tabula rasa (blank slate) – and issues had to be explained so everyone would understand the context. The subjunctive - shoulda, coulda, woulda – needs to be used sparingly.
· Obama is popular as a person
· Health care is dead
· The lessons of the Clintons in the 1990s on health care were disregarded.
· The loss of Massachusetts equals the loss of Ted Kennedy’s legacy on health care.
· Obama accused of socialism.
· Donne asked, “What am I expecting to be his (Obama’s) plan for leadership?
· JFK – “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”
· Franklin Roosevelt – “Nothing to fear but fear itself.” – Works Projects Administration,
· George H.W. Bush – “A thousand points of light.”
· Machiavelli and “The Prince”
· The Baby Boomers – born 1946-1964 – are affected health care.
· Obama’s skin color – Harry Reid’s comment quoted in “Game Change”
· Veiled attacks on Obama’s person, e.g., birthers.
· Coakley’s campaign in Massachusetts was badly managed
· “Recount”- the Kevin Spacey film dramatizing the 2000 Presidential Election between Gore and Bush that was decided by the Supreme Court. How Jim Baker planed a “street fight” when Warren Christopher behaved as a gentleman.
· Obama needs “cohones.” He learned his trade in Chicago, famous for its dirty politics.
Jermaine felt that we have to learn one day at a time. The media hyped Obama’s image. He could walk on water. [The New Yorker cover cartoon shows four panels of Obama walking on what appears to be water and then falling in in the last panel.]
· When “take the high road” fails, take the low road.
· Obama should “man up.”
· Obama quote – “I’d rather have one good term than two mediocre terms.”
Carlisle reminded us of T.S. Eliot’s famous 1992 poem, “The Waste Land:” which mourns the desolation of “King Europe” on the face of a baby.
· Obama was a lamb going into a lion’s den.
· A Chicago face on an innocent baby.
· Change starts from within
· “All politics are local.” [The late Congressman Tip O’Neil’s favorite phrase.]
· This is how the Republicans won Massachusetts.
Jermaine reminded us that a President needs to know how to harness the people. “I am one person. I need your help. I need partners. I cannot do this alone.”
· Grass roots organization is the key.
Sidelight – Carlisle speculates that Mayor Bloomberg will run in 2012 because he hired Howard Wolfson, the campaign director of Hillary Clinton’s failed presidential bid.
· “An old broom knows all corners.”
· Create a “Switfboat” negative ad campaign
· Reconfigure, no reconsider.
· Donne Kampel’s forthcoming book, “Women and Leadership” will be a scheduled topic for a club meeting.
· Connecting the dots
· Bill Bradley [NJ Senator and Knicks basketball star] “Whenever you play, you will always meet someone on the court who has worked harder and longer than you have.”
· Wayne Gretzsky [former NY Rangers hockey star, called “The Great One”] – “A good player watches where the puck will be, not where it is.”
· To Obama – don’t talk about scoring, score! Fish or cut bait.
· Better to have half a loaf, than no loaf
· Obama: “I don’t quit.”
Drani – “Make deductions based on evidence – the forest has a lot of trees.”
For the last half hour, people slowly drifted out with other commitments. Only Drani and Hal were left. Drani commented that he “grew my teeth” during these club meetings. Now, he says, he can “chew” issues. This was a touching comment on the value of these sessions.
---
We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.
Hal Wicke
Monday, January 25, 2010
The Touro Communication Club Notes - #103 –January 27, 2010 Tourocommunicationclub.blogspot.com
Five Communication Quotes of the Week
“Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal,
or any goal.”
Vince Lombardi, legendary coach of the Green Bay Packers football team
“Divorced from ethics, leadership is reduced to management and politics to mere technique.”
James Macgregor Burns, presidential scholar and authority on leadership
“Good leaders must first become good servants.”
Robert Greenleaf, founder of the Servant Leadership movement.
“The manager asks how and when; the leader asks what and why.”
Warren Bennis, pioneer in leadership studies
“When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.
Lao Tsu, ancient Chinese philosopher
The Touro Communication Club
2 pm - Wednesday, January 27, 2010– Room 223
“Leadership”
We are surrounded and led by people who have titles, but are they “leaders”? Advertising tells us if we buy their product, we can be “leaders.” Are you a “leader” if you are a single working mom with three kids who’s going to Touro? Are leaders the ones who are on TV? What is a leader? How do you get to be a leader? We’ll explore this topic and Professor George Backinoff’s favorite version of leadership he calls “Followership.”
A Note to Communicators:
Leadership Communication
This week’s discussion topic will no doubt open a number of areas of which communication is central. First we have to realize that the mere definition of “leadership’ has almost as many definitions as people who use the term.
How should we define “leadership” for our purposes? We could say that leaders have titles – president, dean, chair, general, captain, quarterback, etc. Most people think of leaders as heads of organizations. These are “formal” leaders.
These leaders are part of a vertical hierarchy – one is on top, many are underneath. This is often called the “command and control” form of organization, originally created by the Roman army and imitated by all organizations since.
But there is another kind of leader – the informal leader – who often has more power and influence on the group. This person has no official title, yet he/she is one toward who people look for wisdom and guidance. There are many in history –
· Cardinal Richelieu as the power behind the 17th century French king, Louis XIII,
· The mystic Rasputin as the power behind Czar Nicholas II in early 20th century Russia,
· Or perhaps Vice President Dick Cheney as the power behind President George Bush.
In any leadership position, communication skills are fundamental. A leader must
· Be clear and concise in what the message is.
· Be able to reduce complex issues to bumper sticker simplicity.
· Be able to explain the message in a hundred different ways.
· Be sure that all the members of the leader’s team are on the same page.
· Ensure that all the audiences understand the message through multiple exposures to its essence.
How does a leader make sure his followers get his message? Verify, verify, verify. Constant follow-up work which reduces the possibility of misunderstanding.
Poor communication has consequences as President Obama found out last week. He commented last week on the”failure of communication” which he perceived was the cause of the loss of the Kennedy Senate seat to an unknown Republican.
Although we will probably never know the complete back story on the Massachusetts election, its consequences have improved the Republican’s chances of scuttling the health care. More than ever, the Obama administration has to tighten its communication network if they are to succeed in a very hostile political environment.
In a way, the communication skills of a leader are those of a good teacher – one who has a grasp of the larger issues yet can explain the message through understandable details. The patience of a good teacher is necessary for a good leader.
For our elementary purposes, I would argue that we are all leaders in some way or other.
Leadership starts with you. Leaders make choices. You make choices for yourself all the time. Those choices result in behaviors that communicate –consciously or unconsciously – a set of values – trust, honesty, perseverance, integrity.
Other people observe the messages in our behavior. Can we be trusted? Do we walk our talk? We have many examples in recent political life – John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford, etc. who have asked for the public trust but violated that trust in their private lives.
We are leaders of our own destiny. Our actions have consequences. Often our actions impact on others without our knowledge. We need to become aware of our impact – our ethos – on others.
UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:
February 3, 2010 - “Student Needs” On this first week of class, it is appropriate that we focus on what students need. This topic came up during one of the Club discussions. It was unclear which direction it could go – personal needs, school needs, needs for the past, present or future. We’ll start with a “tabula rasa” (a blank slate) and see where we go.
February 10, 2010 - “Asking Questions in Class”- I have noticed in my classes that most students don’t ask a lot of questions, other than “When is class over?” I don’t know why. I must be boring. Maybe the students have been things to do with their minds. For me, questioning is the best avenue of learning anything. When you ask questions, your mind is engaged with the material. When you ask questions on a date, your mind is engaged in the relationship. Let’s see what happens.
February 17, 2010 –“How Do You Fire Someone?” In our work or love life, we may have been fired or told to get lost. Why does this happen? Can you tell if you are going to be fired? What do you say to someone who you want to get rid of? Lots of emotion surrounds these situations. We’ll talk about some ways to prepare to fire someone as well as your options if you suddenly learn you’ve been fired.
What about one of these topics?
“Cold Calling in Sales”
“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”
“Repetition”
“Meaning”
“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”
“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”
“Heroism”
“Concentration”
“The Power of No”
“Coping with Adversity”
“Distraction”
Dean Donne Kampel on “Women & Leadership”
James Baldwin Dialogue featuring two Touro faculty members,
Student Poetry showcase
“Empathy”
“Connecting the Dots”
Role play of cynical people
And dozens of others!
What happened on Wednesday,
January 13, 2010?
Compare the notice of the session with what really happened
“Cynicism”-
It has always been cool to be cynical, especially in college. You know all these good ideas, but stay apart from them. It’s safe to be AGAINST something, but uncool to be FOR something. To show any passion, except for pop music, is just not cool. Why is that? Is being positive about ANYTHING –except pop music –turns you into a social outcast? We’ll try to dig under the surface.
For a discussion about cynicism, this one was rather upbeat and forthright. Joining our discussion for the first time was Jermaine Nurse. He was supported by Pamela Sheppard, Christopher Couch, Richard Green, James Millner, Lorinda Moore, Carlisle Yearwood, Gena Bardwell, Drani Gabu and Hal Wicke.
Lorinda included on the flyer for today’s session a definition of cynicism – “An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others.” A good definition that we all agreed with.
What are some signs of cynicism? The group instinctively focuses on school.
· Professors who give C’s. (That one got a lot of disagreement!)
· Changes in assignments or instructions.
· People who will not listen
· People who are rigid.
· My way or the highway.
· See no argument but theirs.
· Attitude.
· Playing favorites in class – teacher pets.
[The group interpreted the question as factors which upon repeated experience create cynicism, rather than being able to recognize the negative mood.]
Lorinda felt that cynical people saw themselves as privileged and others as less than they are.
Gena commented on a program she is working on where cynicism destroys the ability to relate to the people who are in most need of help. Everyone in the program needs help and training in recognizing their negative attitudes. “We must combat cynicism because it fosters and destroys the environment in which we operate,” Gena said. “It is a slow sapping of all our internal energy.”
· Our apathy turns us into zombies.
· We are not allowed to enjoy ANYTHING because someone has a negative attitude toward it.
Christopher mentioned that the parents of the kids he coaches in basketball are very cynical about the ability of other players, but their child is the next Lebron James.
· Our speech is affected by cynicism. We are not able to speak with conviction.
· The negative is more powerful than the positive.
· “Fake it until you make it.”
· The platform shoe to make men look taller – actors like Sylvester Stallone.
· You need to be a mental gymnast.
· “Dress for success.”
· Fear manifests itself in cynicism. You don’t have the upper hand.
· You put on a mask of superiority.
· People with “book smarts” lord it over people with “street smarts.”
· Cynics are funny. Saturday Night Live.
· Find humor in a situation and turn it on its head.
· SNL – Tina Fey’s impression of Sarah Palin
· Cynical about Obama.
· Cynics try to pull you into their cesspool.
· Politics – Democrats promised change; Republican is the party of “no” – voters are cynical.
· Cynicism is a powerful force which can affect people on the fence.
· The anti-Kerry “Swiftboarding” in 2004.
· Politics won’t change if the people don’t change. {How does that happen?]
· There must be a paradigm shift in people’s expectations of politics and politicians.
· What do students say to cynical teachers?
· Learn how to face the attitude with elegance and grace.
· Jermaine noted that it is a gradual process.
· Professors are in a position of power.
· Both students and professors have obligations.
Gena suggested for students to “Work the teacher.” “Work me,” she said, “but expect that I will push back.”
Drani, who came in late from attending class at his new college, Columbia University, told us that he has 150 students in his classes. It is only lecture. There is no opportunity to ask questions. If you have a question, you have to make an appointment with the professor. Both students and teachers need to build up each other.
Ron commented on the necessity of becoming an independent thinker, a lesson he learned from his extensive work in martial arts as a way of life. [Ron is a brown belt.] He has learned to think strategically. “Your attitude is reflected in how you walk,” he said.
Gena commented that the black male has to be craftier in making a response. [This needs much more explanation.]
Jermaine said that he came to the club meeting for the purpose of finding Professor Green, but found the discussion so interesting he plans to return.
Carlisle told a moving personal story of how he created a civil right group at Pace when he was there as an undergraduate
· Aware of power dynamics in any situation
· Americans are cynical.
· Cynicism makes us powerless
What have you learned? [Connecting the dots]
Drani – coming to school is a cynical experience.
Jermaine – learned that he has to work the teacher, build a relationship. There is a good and bad side to cynicism.
Richard – the teacher is taught by his students.
Pam – I am not a quitter. When I set out to do something, I do it. I have to be strong.
Ron – use the brain as a coping mechanism.
Carlisle – Hemingway – the action that earned the reaction reflects until complete
“Crap detection” [a favorite strategy of Hal Wicke.]
Gena – We have a powerful tool in humor. There is power in “no” that can derail a project.
Please Google Haiti help to find out how YOU can help in this tragedy.
---
We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.
Hal Wicke
Hal Wicke
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