Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Touro Communication Club Notes #70
Tourocommunicationclub.blogspot.com

Communication Quote of the Week

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
Ambrose Bierce, a late 19th century American journalist, short-story writer and satirist who wrote The Devil's Dictionary


This Week: Wednesday, April 29, 2009
2 m Room 314 - Midtown
7th Speech Contest

For the past seven semesters, the Communication department has sponsored a Speech contest which highlights the finalists from three Communication classes: “Survey of Human Communication,” “Public Speaking” and “Interpersonal Communication.” These finalists have been chosen by their classmates to represent them in the Contest. The quality of the performances is consistently rather impressive. Cash prizes await the top three winners chosen by a panel of judges who are made up of Touro faculty, administration and staff. Refreshments are available during the wait for the judges’ decision.


A Note for Communicators:
Strategy: Finding models to emulate.
Tactic: Observe our own and others’ public behavior.

Leadership is an important field of communication. Successful leadership requires effective communication. Lousy communication equals lousy leadership. Communication is the invisible fabric that ties all aspects of an organization together.

In some way each of us is a leader. We start with ourselves: Are we providing good leadership of ourselves? How can we improve our communication with ourselves? During the campaign, President Barack Obama was frequently overheard talking to himself: “I must do better. I must do better.” (Source: New York Times – where else?)

From this corner, President Obama appears to be setting an extraordinary model of leadership, one which I have never witnessed in the dozen Presidents in my lifetime. I keep asking myself: What does Obama’s model demonstrate to a teacher of Communication?

Bottom line: Obama appears to possess the best leadership qualities of our Presidential legacy – and then some.

The first thing that comes to mind is that Obama is really smart. He seems to have a strong intellectual grasp of so many domestic and foreign issues combined with a visceral understanding of how to address them. He seems to have thought long and hard about all that a President faces. His background as a community organizer has given him “on the ground” experience in translating abstractions into reality.

[Digression: I’m not convinced that America has had many really intelligent presidents. All have had some measure of intelligence but that intelligence was colored with other factors. Some have had clear ideologies (FDR. Johnson, Reagan and Bush II). Some have had failed potential (JFK and Bush I). Others have been muddle-headed (Ford and Carter). Still others have been driven by hubris – pride (Nixon and Clinton). The pragmatists have Truman and Eisenhower as their Presidents.]

Secondly, Obama seems to know what he’s doing. He has a plan and he’s executing that plan. Unlike most of his predecessors, Obama did not just hit the ground running on November 3rd, 2008. He was an immediate avalanche of activity. Executive orders reversing Bush II policies, meetings with the Republicans and governors as well as cabinet appointments shot out of the transition team like 4th of July fireworks. All before he was inaugurated on January 20th.

Certainly, the worst global economic disaster in 70 year was fueling much of this behavior. But I would argue that Obama would have behaved similarly even if he had not faced so many domestic and foreign crises.

Thirdly, Obama’s ability to execute his plan, despite several bumps in the road, is a testament to his organizational skills and motivation. Since his inauguration, Obama has moved with alacrity and controversial force on both the domestic economic front while reaching out to the world stage .Obama’s approach to the home-grown problems of the bank and auto bailouts and the forced resignations of Detroit CEOs mesh easily with international meetings of the G8, G20 and meeting of the Latin-American countries. Obama seems to have been everywhere in a short time.

Lastly and most importantly for us as Communicators, Obama possesses a singularly astounding ability to write and speak in an unadorned prose style that is clear and easily understood. His two books and many speeches demonstrate a superb mind at work with a pragmatic sense of how to implement the restoration of the promise of America, lost in last eight years.

Next Wednesday, April 29, is President Obama’s 100th day in office. This is an artificial milestone invented during the Kennedy era. Past presidents have been given a “Get Out of Jail Free” card during this period when nothing much was expected and the opposition suspended attacks.

Obama has used this “honeymoon” to establish himself as a President with formidable skills to lay the foundation for a hopeful four years. In 100 days, Obama has erased the despair of the previous eight years. We can only pray that America’s future remains secure in the hands of this young leader who had a very thin resume.

UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:

Upcoming:

May 6 – “The Alabama Experience” – students talk of their recent Civil Rights trip to Alabama
May 13 – “Presenting Jason Alan Carvell” – a conversation with a Touro Communication professor who teaches, acts, directs, sculpts and does television voice-overs.
Tentative: May 20 – “Talking to Women” – an open discussion about what women expect when they talk with men. (A follow up “Talking to Men’ will be scheduled.)

What happened on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 Politics (Conflict) & Communication II

No one who came to this session even realized that Wicke forgot about the announced topic and led the group in a spirited discussion of “Conflict and Communication.” Those who joined the fray included familiar figures Marcus Vyandorf, Meggy Lindsay, James Millner, Brian Brown, Anna Indelicato and Hal Wicke. Three newcomers were welcome additions to the group; Jerusalem Abraham, Alexandra Serebryanikova and Jennie Proano.
Hal wrote several items on the board to start the discussion:

  • What is conflict?
  • Why is there conflict?
  • How do we recognize conf lict?
If we operate on the premise that “People are different,” doesn’t it seem that conflict is inevitable? Unfortunately, many people seem to be surprised when there is conflict. Maybe these people are operating in the bubble of their own world and operate, like good narcissists, that they are the center of the universe. [The current financial meltdown seems to have been led by people who thought they were “Masters of the Universe.”]

If people are different, they automatically are different in every way – different beliefs, different expectations, different experience – all of which lead to different behaviors.

We went around the group identifying situations in which each had had a conflict. Without revealing the details of the conflict, several patterns emerged. External conflicts emerged over

  • Different methods of doing something – “ wanted to do something my way; the other person wanted to do something his way.”
  • Different standards of behavior – loud radio playing
  • Different ways of being treated (also behavior) – “The person was bullying me.”
  • Family conflicts – parents, siblings
  • Different definitions of power – “I have the title, I can behave this way.”
  • Different expectations of recognition – “I expected to be recognized for my work.”
  • Different attitudes toward survival – “I want a higher standard of living.”
  • Different views on territory (land and space) – Israel and the Palestinian conflict, subway conflicts, unequal division of space
  • Different religions and belief systems
  • Different senses of time – “Island time,” feeling pressured
  • Different intellectual and physical abilities – society places different values on certain abilities.
  • Internal conflicts can develop from loss and fear. Hal suggested that we had enough to explore with external conflicts that we could explore internal conflicts at another time.

    We asked ourselves what kinds of situations can produce conflict
    • External success – grades, money, position, “toys”
    • Competition – conflict is built into competition of any kind. A sports conflict is refereed against a set of rules.
    Plus the usual suspects of money, power, control, recognition and dozens of others.

    Hal observed that the typical class material was developed deductively. We already know the theory as we move from general to specific. Our discussions in the Communication Club try to move inductively – from specific to general, trying to identify patterns from the specifics that are suggested. This approach takes a longer time, but seems to be more satisfying to everyone as we easily notice patterns from the evidence we generate.

    We agreed that everyone wants to believe “I am right.” Conflict occurs when “I don’t feel right” or someone is trying to prove me wrong, or bad or inferior. [A natural extension of this dilemma is the negotiation strategy of “Win-Win” from “Getting to Yes” of the Harvard Negotiation Project.]

    We also raised the question of balance in a conflict. When one is in a conflict, the mind – and body – are out of balance. And the body seeks “homeostasis.” That’s why when we have too much to drink or do something to the extreme; we are out of balance and feel terrible physically. In a verbal or physical conflict, the “fighters” fight to win to gain internal balance through “winning.” [Much more at another time.]

    Someone mentioned the new film, “He Just Not Into You,” a comedy about relationships that go wrong, largely from the female viewpoint. If you haven’t seen it, you might consider looking at it from a Communication viewpoint. The conflict sometimes is not so obvious, but becomes obvious in an unexpected way. The relationships are always asymmetrical and out of balance with the female apparently never in control. (Much more later on this one!]

    After 90 minutes, the energy seemed to flag, so Hal asked the Lorinda Question: What did we learn from this discussion? Answers varied in detail, but everyone found the discussion worthwhile.
    ----

    Let’s not forget Carlisle Yearwood’s IDEA several weeks ago. He suggested we develop a 3x4 index card with basic Touro information on it. We’ll talk more about this in the future.

    As always, these sessions are open for everyone to attend. Bring a friend and join the excitement. See you next time.

    Hal Wicke

    Tuesday, April 21, 2009

    Touro Communication Club Notes #69
    Tourocommunicationclub.blogspot.com

    Communication Quote of the Week

    ‘The greatest problem of communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.”

    George Bernard Shaw, 20th century playwright, socialist and literary and music critic

    Kudos for the Touro Communication Club blog!
    Recently Catherine Gaffigan, a Communication instructor who has led our theatre sessions, wrote Hal Wicke that she thought the blog was “Amazing!” Hal asked her to explain.

    Catherine wrote back, “The blog is comprehensive and thorough. A myriad of varied and wide-ranging topics are selected and presented {some in depth). It illuminates the endless amount of knowledge which one needs in communication. (A life’s work!) The blog could be the basis for a stand-alone major. Students who attend the meetings are receiving an invaluable supplement to the required course work.”

    Thank you as always, Catherine, for your kind words.

    Wednesday, April 22, 2009
    2 pm –Room 223 - Midtown
    Politics & Communication II
    Our second session will no doubt generate the sharp interchange of the first. Politics is all around us all the time in every Communication exchange. Much of what “rules” is beneath the surface of the interchange, the “subtext” so to speak.” Many difficulties arise between and among people because they don’t realize or notice the unspoken elements that are operating. We will try to uncover some of these during this session.

    A Note for Communicators:

    Strategy: Seeing the forest for the trees.
    Theme: Closing the gap between rhetoric and reality.


    We are surrounded by so much persuasive stimuli in our daily lives – particularly in NYC - that we hardly even know that we are inundated. It feels like everyone is trying to get into our heads and/or our wallets all the time. Someone has estimated that we are hit by some 2 billion stimuli each day. We become numb to the images and sounds around us. We withdraw into the safe world of our iPod. We hear and stare but we don’t see. Are we really listening to the iPod?

    It’s almost as if we are suspended in our own heads from the reality around us. We live in our heads. When we do try to communicate, the words transform into monosyllabic reductions as they become text messages.

    When it comes to persuasion, the media is always in full bloom. A recent bus advertisement shouted “I AM KING” – a new men’s perfume by Sean John.” PR is a way of life for many people. PR is the mask that covers the reality.

    How do we become aware that we are being swamped by persuasion? Perhaps the first step is to even notice that something is out of kilter. Something seems wrong. The technical word for this feeling is “cognitive dissonance.” The words don’t match the experience. I feel a gap inside– something is wrong.

    Another strategy is “perceptual checking.” Ernest Hemingway calls it “crap detection.” You hear and see the message. Then you check your solar plexis (below your rib cage) to see if it feels right. If there’s any discomfort, you have probably discovered that something is wrong in the communication.

    Becoming aware is like exercising a new muscle. With constant practice, you build an awareness about the authenticity of the communication you send and receive. Pinocchio’s Jiminy Cricket is a good beginning image of awareness. You notice more things. The colors are richer. The sounds are more luscious. The emotional experience is richer. Your head begins to make connections that you never were even aware were possible. You move from the sepia color of Kansas to the Technicolor of Oz.

    Once your awareness is turned on, your life becomes transformed. The flamboyant character of Auntie Mame says in both the book and the musical, “Life is a banquet. Look at all these poor people who are starving to death.” Awareness whets the appetite for the banquet that life is.

    The great danger of becoming “aware” is that you become cynical and negative. Suddenly, you notice the gap between the rhetoric and reality. Isn’t that awful? That gap will always be there despite your newly discovered “awareness.” The question is what YOU will do with your awareness.

    Once you’ve turned on your awareness, it’s very difficult to turn off. The disparity between the fake and the real almost jumps out at you. Bridging that gap is your choice, a choice inside your head. As the vernacular says, you can choose to see the doughnut or the hole.

    Perhaps we can go back to “intentions.” What are your intentions when you communicate? In your actions? Keep in mind the old saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Use your heightened awareness to check the perceptions of those with whom you communicate.

    Predictably, awareness brings the burden of responsibility. We see the gap between rhetoric and reality and choose to close the gap in what we do and what comes out of our mouths. Our next challenge is to work toward bridging the gap.

    UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:

    Wednesday, April 29, 2009 - 7th Speech Contest

    Upcoming:
    May 6 – “The Alabama Experience” – students talk of their recent Civil Rights trip to Alabama

    May 13 – “Presenting Jason Alan Carvell” – a conversation with a Touro Communication professor who teaches, acts, directs, sculpts and does television voice-overs.

    May 20 – “Talking to Women” – an open discussion about what women expect when they talk with men. (A follow up “Talking to Men’ will be scheduled.)

    What happened on Wednesday, April l, 2009 –“What’s Happening to Communication II Pressures & Technology” - Led by James Millner

    Gathering to discuss this important topic, this small thoughtful group led by James Millner included Lorinda Moore, Richard Green, Meggy Lindsay, David Nussbaum, Brian Brown and Hal Wicke

    James listed many aspects of communication on the board to trigger the discussion. They included technology, video conferencing, teleprompting, SMS messaging, email, voicemail, faxing, telephone, newspapers, computers satellites, fiber optics, Blue Tooth, the Printing Press, video games, Facebook.

    His opening question, “What’s the problem?” set off a spirited exchange. “Communication technology is out of control!” There are many mediators (filters) between the person (you) and the source of the message that we are “learning not to care for one another.” These filters influence the information we receive. The mediator takes away the personal aspect of communication.

    Communication technology has become smaller and smaller. The first computers filled a huge room. The latest computers are now the size of a hand. Phone communication once required land lines; now signals bounce off satellites. The technology industry is succeeding in its attempt to combine all forms of communication – voice, video, film, computer, recordings, text messaging – into one hand-held device. No doubt, we eventually be able to use the device as a TV clicker to point to the stove to make dinner and the computer to write the term paper.

    If we define ideal communication model as a face-to-face exchange between two or more people without mediators, then we have to be aware of how much the mediators can and do change the message. We need to constantly verify the accuracy of the message.

    But we don’t. And this is where people get into communication trouble.

    In face-to-face communication, “Content is King!” The greatest challenge is to figure out ways to have the users of technology more responsible in their use of content. That is always a difficult issue even under the best of communication situations.

    How do we get a handle on the communication situation? Should we create a 1984 “Big Brother is Watching YOU!” situation, building on fear? Tempting, but not wise, we agreed.


    Guiding technology toward more responsible use is important. It is not the technology itself that is the problem, it is the people who use the technology. Then we must direct our efforts through education. Parents should be involved. Contact companies who are corporately sensitive to the impact of technology on communication. People need to be made “stakeholders.” In that way, individuals will learn to care.

    One of the by-products of technology is that everyone is in a rush. Certainly in New York City! Rush! Rush! Rush! Speed is valued. No one likes to wait. Can you imagine New Yorkers waiting 8 days for a letter to be delivered by pony express? Imagine having to walk to school or take your horse to go shopping? We couldn’t stand it!

    The Lorinda Question: What did we learn from this discussion. We have to become aware of the downside aspects of technology. We have to embrace technology. We have to turn technology against itself. “I prefer unfiltered communication.”
    ----
    Let’s not forget Carlisle Yearwood’s IDEA several weeks ago. He suggested we develop a 3x4 index card with basic Touro information on it. We’ll talk more about this in the future.

    As always, these sessions are open for everyone to attend. Bring a friend and join the excitement. See you next time.


    Hal Wicke