Touro Communication Club Notes #80

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Communication Quote of the Week

“Listen carefully to the patients and they’ll tell you the diagnosis.”

Medical maxim

This Week: Wednesday, July 15, 2009
2 pm - Room 223 – Midtown

“Anatomy of Freedom” II –

As expected, the discussion of 6/24 merely scratched the surface. Freedom is an endlessly complex topic. This time, we could go a number of ways: political freedom, social freedom, religious freedom, etc. What are the consequences of freedom? Is it given or taken? Many more questions.

News note:

One of the original club members, Brian Brown, will be leaving Touro in a few weeks to enroll as a junior in St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas, where his Brooklyn family now lives. The college thought highly enough of Brian’s record to award him a $5000 scholarship. We say a warm farewell to Brian and wish him well in his new adventures. He can always keep up with what we are doing on our blog and post a comment.

A Note for Communicators:

“It’s Not What You Say, It’s What People Hear”

Strategy: To re conceive our communication ideas and strategies to make them more effective.

Tactic: To pay attention to our audience before, not after we speak (and write).

Dr. Frank Luntz is considered a conservative Republican pollster. Some liberals would argue that no Republican or conservative has any idea worth anything. Yet Luntz has many ideas – particularly about language – which affect our message. He was one of the architects for the highly successful 1994 Republican Contract with America.

His very accessible 2007 book, “Words That Work: It’s Not What You Say; It’s What People Hear,” was a New York Times best seller.

Luntz writes, “You can have the best message in the world, but the person on the receiving end will always understand it through the prism of his or her emotions, preconceptions, prejudice and preexisting beliefs.” To that list of filters, I would add gender, race and ethnicity and personal history.

He continues, “It’s not enough to be correct or reasonable or even brilliant. The key to successful communication is to take the imaginative leap of stuff yourself right into your listener’s shoes to know what they are thinking and feeling in the deepest recesses of their mind and how. How that person perceives what you say is even more real, at least in a practical sense than how you perceive yourself.”

That is pertinent advice for all who communicate – which is everyone – but especially for teachers and professors who sometimes operate as if students absorb 100% of the brilliant words and ideas that the instructor declares.

Communicators call this tactic “audience adaptation.” All public speaking texts talk about making a detailed audience analysis to understand how each group will receive your message.

There is the story of Robert Kennedy making his first presentation before the U.S. Supreme Court. Although a lawyer, he had never argued a case before any judge or jury. Part of his preparation was to examine the background and decisions of every one of the nine Justices as he crafted his 30-minute presentation. He had to integrate nine separate speeches into integrated whole.

In his 1966 book, “The Effective Executive,” Peter Drucker writes that more than 60 percent of all problems in companies and organizations can be attributed to poor communication. For whatever the reason, the CEO and upper management talk to themselves and arrive at a decision without knowing, understanding or accepting that the people who will execute that decision need to be brought along.

In every organization, everyone is a stakeholder. In a classroom, the students are the primary stakeholders in the teaching learning process. In business, the customers are vital stakeholders because if they don’t buy the product or service, there will be no business.

For most people, communication is invisible. Communication is the atmosphere. We don't notice good communication because it becomes a pervasive positive atmosphere. We do notice poor communication because the atmosphere is negative and nothing seems to work well

As communicators, we know how challenging our invisible task is. There are so many elements that impact simultaneously on communication that we often forget one or more of them. Imagine someone who doesn’t understand communication, someone who lives in a bubble, someone who believes he/she is the center of the world. Omigod!

UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:

July 22 – “The Difficulty of Relationships” The intensity of the discussion on “Talking to Men” generated a further session, this one focusing on the interaction between men and women. It would seem that conflict is a frequent outcome of male and female interaction. We’ll try to explore some of the reasons why this is so.

July 29 – “Ethics: Integrity and the Golden Rule” Professor Jose Dunker suggested a version of this topic. “The Alabama Project” was his brainchild, an outgrowth of his class on Civil rights. In April, the Club hosted a slide show history of Touro’s acclaimed student trip to the South, retracing the steps of the Civil Rights leaders.

August 5 - Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable”- Never a day goes by when we don’t disagree with something someone says or does. Now we have two choices: we can choose to remain silent or we can choose to disagree. Maybe we can be clever and become passive-aggressive in our disagreement. We’ll being to explore this volatile topic and develop some productive strategies and tactics.

What happened on Wednesday, July8, 2009?
“Stand-up Comedy”

We owe this topic to recent Geovanny Leon’s impromptu speech. His performance led to a discussion of what is funny and how to make people laugh. The joke and its well-honed implicit structure will induce a laugh if told well. In the open-ended discussion, we’ll explore a series of questions about humor and comedy. Just in case it gets boring, bring your favorite joke.

The mood of the group was expectant – they wanted to laugh. But Hal changed the mood with his infernal definitions and questions.

• What is funny? What do we laugh at?
• Why do we laugh?

But the group slogged on valiantly. Newcomer, Dean Donne Kampel, was not shy about joining in the opinion exchange. The usual suspects were there: Drani Gabu, Lorinda Moore, Markus Vayndorf, James Millner, Carlisle Yearwood, Charles Mason and Brian Brown. Hal Wicke guided the discussion.

Several felt that being silly and absurd was funny. Physical humor was always funny. We laugh because we don’t think the situation will happen in real life.

Dean Kampel suggested that it would be funny to have a reality show about college life. The 1978 film, “Animal House” was a humorous portrayal of life in a fraternity house. Dean Kampel recalled John Belushi taking cottage cheese in his mouth and asking, “What am I?” A zit, he said, as his spewed cottage cheese all over. The group was divided as to whether the situation was funny.

A variety of thoughts

• We can comment about anything in everyday life using humor.
• A joke was told that fell flat because nobody understood the delivery.
• Word play is a fascination for one person, particularly puns. “The bigger the groan the more successful they are.
• Sarah Palin and Tina Fey were objects of interest.
• Humor comes from a discrepancy between words and perceived reality.
• Frequent objects of ridicule – leaders, family elders, teachers and other authorities
• George Bush and David Letterman’s segment on “Famous Presidential Words”
• We laugh at our leaders because they are supposed to be perfect.

Lorinda said that she was taught growing up to have respect for leadership. Her view was tossed around by the group. Most agreed that we should respect the office, but not necessarily the person in the office.

In America, because we don’t have a tradition of hierarchy, everyone is fair game for ridicule. Politicians are always fodder for slapstick comedy. Look at the New York Legislature in Albany or any number of governors: (Patterson, Spitzer, Sanford, Blogojevich), or members of Congress – (Ensign, Craig, Foley, Burris). The newest Senator Al Franken, a professional comedian, vows to do his best NOT to be funny.

Edward Kennedy is no longer an object of ridicule because of Chappaquiddick because he has brain cancer.

The discussion focused on professional comedians – Chris Rock (beloved by group), Rodney Dangerfield, Henny Youngman (“Here, take my wife, please.”), the Cable Guy, Red Skeleton, Larry David, Woody Allen, Carrot Top. Conan O’Brian, Jay Leno, Don Rickles and Jackie Mason are equal opportunity insult comedians.

All comedians play to their audiences.

Then there’s the derisive laugh – making fun of people who are less fortunate than we are and people who are different than we are. Here context is very important – in once situation, something may be funny; in another, it isn’t.

What about being politically correct? Has it killed humor? Ethnic jokes, the fodder of old time vaudeville and parapalegic jokes, are no longer acceptable to most people.

In an unexpected literary turn, Brian mentioned that the hero, Howard Roark, in Ayn Rand‘s novel “Atlas Shrugged” was similar to Woody Allen in his independent spirit. Carlisle mentioned the novels of Donald Barthelme focused on developing your own style. Architect Frank Lloyd Wright had a similar vision in his Arts and Crafts homes.

The jokes continued with Drani telling two and Brian telling one to mixed reaction. Then Howard Stern became the central topic of whether he was funny.

Then somehow we got onto Madonna and her adoption of a young Mali boy– totally unrelated to humor. Opinions flew around as to whether her motives were to gain publicity by adopting the boy, then Oprah’s school for girls in Africa and Angelina Jolie’s multiple adoptions. One person shared a story about giving money to a person without any strings.

The discussion moved toward making choices in charity. “We cannot feel we can solve all social issues,” said one person.

Time had run out. Although a meandering session, the topics seemed to maintain attention. We bid Brian a warm farewell as he leaves Touro to enroll in a Texas university, having won a $5000 scholarship.

As always, these sessions are open for everyone to attend. Bring a friend and join the excitement. See you next time.

Hal Wicke