The Touro Communication Club Notes #90 –October 7, 2009

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Communication Quote of the Week

Dedicated to those who open their mouths:

He who knows not and knows not that he knows not, is a fool.

But he who knows not and knows that he knows not is a very wise man."

Mr. Raymond Bardwell, of Kansas City, MO, is well known for being the father of Ms. Gena Bardwell, 

currently of the Touro College Communication Department in New York City. Mr. Bardwell’s wise sayings

are legion and his wisdom is legendary in the Bardwell clan. The quotation was generated by our recent 

discussion on “Knowing.” 

The Touro Communication Club

2 pm - Wednesday, October 7, 2009 – Room 223< /div>

“Giving Criticism”-

We all do it. We criticize our bosses, our teachers, our parents, our friends. Why do we do it? How do we do it? When do we give criticism? Why do we do it behind people’s backs? Is there such a thing as ‘Constructive Criticism’? This topic is an emotional time-bomb. We’ll discuss why and how we can do it more productively.

A Note to Communicators:

Factors that Affect Communication

Strategy: To notice patterns of communication behavior and deconstruct these verbal and non-verbal behaviors.

Tactic: To become more aware of the factors that affect and filter communication.

Most of the time we are concerned about getting our message across to the person in front of us – our child ren, our lover, our co-worker, our boss and so on. When we speak to another, it is almost as if we put blinders on and forget about our peripheral vision.

We also put blinders on all the factors that form the context of our message. We focus on the content of the message. We are unaware of what is going on non-verbally as we speak. Are we aware of our facial expressions? Our vocal inflections (paralanguage)? Our body language (kinesics)?

I think not. We are unlike actors. They are trained to be aware of these contextual factors, but they don’t have to worry about the message. The playwright has taken care of that.

An ideal for an individual’s communication vision is to become aware of all the external AND internal factors in a message AS the message was being delivered. An enormous task that begins with fundamental awareness.

With Jude Law playing “Hamlet” on Broadway now. I am reminded of part of Hamlet’s speech to Horatio at the end of the graveyard scene (Act V Scene ii).

…There's a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.

“The readiness is all” is what counts in Hamlet’s pursuit of vengeance. We must be prepared in our daily life. If we aren’t, we have smaller personal versions of 9/11/09 or Vietnam or 12/7/41, Are we ready for the commitment to winning the war in Afghanistan? No one has in their tragic history of invading armies.

Whoops! I digressed. Back to the personal level. We must be aware of the baggage we carry in our communication messages, baggage which leaks into our exchanges. We must be aware of the person we are speaking to and what we can figure out of their own baggage.

If “readiness is all” in all our communication dealings, we must be aware of the impact of culture, belief systems, gender, power and emotion which filter every message we deliver.

A tall requirement for mere “readiness." Perhaps we should take the Buddhist approach and empty ourselves of Western concepts of self.

UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:

October 14 – “Civility” – Several weeks ago, this blogger wrote about “On Civility.” The Pittsburgh G20 summit this past week is another evidence of incivility. President Obama commented that the demonstrations were “mild” compared to past G20 summits. Incivility occurs at all levels of society. How do we recognize it? Is incivility just part of our life? How do we handle incivility when it is directed at us? Are we uncivil at times?

October 21 – “The Seven Deadly Sins”- Originating with the Greeks and codified by the Catholic Church in the Dark Ages, these seven human behaviors are thought to be central to our difficulties in the world. Unfortunately, today we take these behaviors as=2 0the norm. We’ll explore as many as time allows. They include: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.

What about one of these topics?

“How Do You Fire Someone?”

“Thinking”

“Rap and Hip Hop – What’s the Message?"

”SPAR Debate”

“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”

“Asking Questions in Class”

“Cold Calling in Sales”

“Communication Lessons from Martial Arts”

“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”

“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”

“Charles Borkhuis and his Radio Plays”

And dozens of others!

What happened on Wednesday, September 16, 2009? “Elevator Speeches”

Newcomer Jason Tavarez had no trouble joining in the spirited exchange among regulars Robert Bohr, Drani Gabu, Carlisle Yearwood, Charles Mason, Markus Vayndorf and Hal Wicke.

Hal described the “Elevator Speech” as an impromptu presentation on a specific topic usually lasting around 30 seconds. The format takes its name from a situation where you meet someone of importance at an elevator and have about 30 seconds to summarize your thoughts in the time it takes the elevator to rise to its final destination.

Typical “Elevator Speeches” might be a job introduction, a product summary, a proposal for a change in a way of doing something. The impromptu speeches given at weddings, bar/bas mitzvahs and other celebrations are other occasions.

Most importantly, the exercise teaches us to think on our feet under pressure.

Hal shared his sudden use of the elevator speech format just that morning when he chose to explain the developing program on Experiential Learning to an important potential supporter.

The group began with the all important audience analysis. If we have the chance to prepare before speaking, we should do a quick demographic analysis of the audience. An analysis of our group documented quickly 5 males, one female, 4 faculty, 2 students, 3 born outside U.S. and various ages.

The analysis might have gone into more depth if we were to orchestrate a marketing and PR campaign of a new idea, product or service with focus groups. Politicians, religious figures, and teachers sell ideas. Doctors, lawyers, electricians and garage repair people sell services. Inventors, manufacturers and store owners sell products. A focus group will better help the marketer understand the audience to whom the campaign is directed.

We explored how various people discovered the Communication Club. Word of mouth was the most prevalent way the club was marketed to the group.

During the discussion, one person called Touro students “products.” Another student took great except ion to being called a product: “I am a human being.” Others raised the idea that Touro students were a “product” of their education.

The student remained adamant in her view, despite acknowledging that a student could be a “product” – the culmination -of her Touro education.

We got sidetracked - this is very easy to do in our discussions – on the White House intrusion into the NY State Governor’s race with its pressuring Governor Patterson not to run.

We focused on how different each Touro site was from the other. Some sites made a demonstrably better impression than others.

In the discussion, it became cl ear that most people were reacting to externals while suggesting the internals – the teaching – was about the same. Carlisle exclaimed that when he saw the architecture at City College as a student, he was “sold.”

There was a vigorous discussion of the many factors which contribute to the students’ perception of their education. As the discussion finished, the group was figuring out concrete ways to improve their perceptions.

Happily, the best outcome of a good discussion is always movement toward some action.

We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.

Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.

Hal Wicke