The Touro Communication Club Notes #89 – September 30, 2009

Tourocommunicationclub.blogspot.com

Communication Quote of the Week

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter – ‘tis the difference between the lightning bug and lightning.”

Mark Twain, pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens, 1835–1910, American author. As humorist, narrator, and social observer, Twain is unsurpassed in American literature. His novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, a masterpiece of humor, characterization, and realism, has been called the first (and sometimes the best) modern American novel. (Columbia Encyclopedia)

The Touro Communication Club

2 pm - Wednesday, September 30, 2009 – Room 223

“Elevator Speeches”

We need to practice thinking on our feet. We did impromptu speaking in the spring. The “Elevator Speech”is a specific “speech” you develop in advance of needing to give it. It lasts about 30 seconds, the typical time it takes an elevator to rise to its floor. Typical “Elevator Speeches” are a job introduction, a product summary, a proposal for a change in a way of doing something.

A Note to Communicators:

Language Matters

Strategy: To notice patterns of communication behavior and deconstruct these verbal and non-verbal behaviors

Tactic: To develop tactics to counter or at least to neutralize negative communication behavior.

The longer I am involved with communication, the more I realize how complicated it is. We say something we think is ok, but the other person gets angry or hurt. We write things – even twitter messages with its reductionist demands of 140 characters – and we get misunderstood.

Why does this continue to happen? My guess is that we often speak without thinking of the impact of our words on our audience. If you are a politician or public figure every move and word is under the media microscope 24/7. Even President Obama, who is an acknowledged master of words, has made a couple of faux pas on national television. When he gives a speech , you notice he’s reading a script.

Mark Twain’s quotation at the top of the blog highlights the difficulty in finding the “right” word. But in our ordinary conversation, I’m not sure we are as careful as we might be.

Not only are we not as careful as we might, we are so often preoccupied with ourselves we don’t even notice that we haven’t picked the right word – not to say even the “approximately accurate” word.

We shoot from the lip in most of our communication transactions. That works most of the time, but then there are times when we need to be more careful in our language choice. These situations occur when the stakes of how we communicate are raised – a job interview, a comment in class, a love relationship – and especially when we speak at the United Nations.

How do we attempt to say what we mean? We’ve got to make sure we think about what your message is going to include before you send it to your mouth for external distribution.

Easier said than done. You have to think about the audience to whom you are sending your message. You have to be aware if certain words might trigger unwelcome responses. You have be prepared for unanticipated responses which your words have generated.

Sounds like you’ve got to walk on eggs all the time. I don’t think so. However, thinking and awareness do help in a pinch.

If you are operating in a narcissistic bubble where you are the center of world, you need only to shoot from t he lip when you want. Who cares about consequences? It’s only your world that counts.

Most of us can’t afford to for long to operate in a bubble – not enough money, not a big enough posse, not enough paparazzi, not enough power. When our communication repeatedly explodes in our face, should we consider modifying our vocabulary? I would hope so.

Then again, we all know people who never become aware of how they communicate. If these people are important to us, we need to devise a different set of strategies to cope with them. If they are useful to us only on occasion, we need to develop ways to ensure our ideas are not trampled on. If they are not important to us, we need to realize that these people need to quickly become history in our lives.

UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:

October 7 - “Giving Criticism”- We all do it. We criticize our bosses, our teachers, our parents, our friends. Why do we do it? How do we do it? When do we give criticism? This topic is an emotional time-bomb. We’ll discuss why and how we can do it more productively.

October 14 – “Civility” – Several weeks ago, this blogger wrote about “On Civility.” The Pittsburgh G20 summit this past week is another evidence of incivility. President Obama commented that the demonstrations were “mild” compared to past G20 summits. Incivility occurs at all levels of society. How do we recognize it? Is incivility just part of our life? How do we handle incivility when it is directed at us? Are we uncivil at times?

What about one of these topics?

“How Do You Fire Someone?”

“Thinking”

“Rap and Hip Hop – What’s the Message?"

”SPAR Debate”

“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”

“Asking Questions in Class”

“Cold Calling in Sales”

“The Seven Deadly Sins”

“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”

“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”

“Charles Borkhuis and his radio plays”

And dozens of others!

What happ ened on Wednesday, September 16, 2009? “How do you know you don’t understand? How do you know anything?”

Newcomer Abraham Luna quickly joined in the spirit of the group which included Markus Vayndorf, Gary Sheinfeld, Carlisle Yearwood, Charles Mason, Ronald Johnson, Jose Dunker, Lorinda Moore, Meggy Lindsay and Hal Wicke.

Hal described a familiar situation he experienced in class where he was sure he knew what the assignment was until he realized he didn’t understand it. He keeps asking himself, “How do I know what I know? Do I really understand what I’ve read or heard?”

A variety comments followed.

· It’s like riding a bike. You can’t learn to ride a bike from a book.

· If you can’t “do” it, you don’t know it. [whatever “it” is.]

· Paraphrase what you think you’ve heard or read to verify that you understand the information.

· Knowledge and language are always intermingled [Gary ]

· You have the concept and then its application.

· There are 2 parts to knowledge: common sense knowledge and academic knowledge [Markus]

· Knowledge as instrumental and knowledge as feeling. [Gary]

· There is experience beyond knowledge. Beyond a certain point, you can’t explain it with words (Carlisle).

· Immanuel Kant – there is a gap between imagination and cognition [Gary]

· “I don’t understand what you’re talking about” says one student, rolling his eyes.

· Gary tells the joke of the talking dog. No one laughs. “Cognition is not there while you are laughing.”

· Art transcends words.

· There are a variety of perceptions – rational, irrational and non-rational.

· Innate perception – animals run when the forest is on fire [Gary]

· A poem is a linguistic perception of the physical.

· Are we all Pavlov’s dogs? We are influenced by our social environment.

· Why does a school of sardines act as one when swimming? [Gary]

· Jose told of his grandmother who controlled the family with a flick of her eyebrows.

· We resist anything that we do not believe in.

· Two spoke about two different reactions to the rules of their households. One followed them to the letter. The other rebelled yet took the punishment for not obeying.

· Carlisle brought up “Seth Speaks,” an alternative view of reality that was “channeled” through a medium. It scared the daylights out of him.

· Animals change when they are threatened by a predator. Animals have not choice. They are programmed.

· Knowing, thinking and doing are important parts of our daily life [Ron]

· If we have a “gut” feeling, we need to verify it.

· Paraphrase to20verify. Ask the teacher.

· When there is understanding, there is a release of energy

· Do you watch body language?

Awareness needs to be sharpened in order to behave calmly when the five senses are overwhelmed and merge into our worldview. A never ending process.

Markus bid us adieu in his grand manner saying, E2I know I have to teach a class now.”

We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.

Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.