The Touro Communication Club Notes - #97 –December 2, 2009
Communication Quotes of the Week
Here are several quotes about the emotion of fear that underlie “Stage Fright”
The German Proverb – “Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is."
The Japanese proverb – “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.”
One of the most famous quotes about fear is from President Franklin Delano Roosevelt
in his first inaugural address, March 4, 1933.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."
Then the phrase derived from the word “FEAR”:
F--FALSE
E--EVIDENCE
A--APPEARING
R--REAL
The Touro Communication Club
2 pm - Wednesday, December 2, 2009 – Room 223
“Walking the Talk”
Last night (12/1), President Obama announced his military and diplomatic intentions about the war in Afghanistan at West Point. He says he wants to “finish the job.” We shall see if he can walk his talk.
- Many of us have had the experience of knowing people who promise to do something and don’t do it. This experience can be personal or within a group. A Touro Dean once described two categories of participants in a project. “There are the show horses and there are the work horses.” The show horses talk a good game, but they “don’t deliver the mail,” as one member of Congress recently phrased it. There are dozens of ways this situation occurs. We’ll share our experiences and then discuss what to do about the phenomenon.
A Note to Communicators:
Stage Fright
Strategy: To observe people who are under pressure in public situations.
Tactic: To detail the behavior that others exhibit – verbal and non-verbal – which indicates a high degree of excitement.
It’s called a lot of things – “Nervous,” “Performance Anxiety.” “Reluctant speaking.” Many studies have been done on the phenomena. However, “Stage Fright” is a universal experience. Lots of people have lots of different opinions. Here’s mine.
Who gets “Stage Fright”? Everyone: actors, politicians, teachers, The person who says he doesn’t get “Stage Fright” is not in touch with his feelings. Once I had a student who said he was not nervous when he got up in front of a group. He was clever enough to mask the external symptoms – sweaty palms, stammering, shaking hands, wobbling knees. But if you listened carefully to his words they were a sophisticated form of “word salad.”
Why does it happen? There are many theories. My observation is that “Stage Fright” occurs whenever there is a deadline. The closer you get to the deadline, the greater the fear.
Think about those occasions besides public speaking when you get “Stage Fright.” You are planning a dinner or a party. You are getting married. You suddenly find out you’ve got an Academy Award.
It is often said that a person facing death gets an extreme form of “Stage Fright.” The elements are there – a deadline, finality. The mind focuses with unusual clarity.
When does it happen? When you are prepared. When you are unprepared. When you are surprised by something positive or negative. When you do something you know is highly risky.
A personal anecdote: Recently, I was held up at gunpoint on my block. I was very aware of how nervous both robbers were while one held me in a headlock while the other frisked me for my wallet. The one with the gun was sweating and very impatient that his partner couldn’t find my wallet fast enough. When they got what they wanted, they ran down to block to a waiting car in the next block.
Whenever you sense of yourself is presented with an unknown situation, your heartbeat increases. Not me. Curiously, I seemed to remain calm and relaxed during the episode. Actually, I remember feeling quite limp as one robber pushed his gun into my chest. After they were gone, I noticed my hands were shaking as I walked home.
In this discussion, I’m referring to everyday garden variety nerves, not to traumatic situations like a robbery.
Controlling “Stage Fright.” This emotional response is a good one, if you don’t let it take over your being. Some people – many actors – have difficulty controlling their “Stage Fright.” They go to therapy. They take courses in yoga. I know one person who goes to acupuncture to control her “Stage Fright.”
I believe that “Stage Fright” is a controllable emotional response. If you don’t believe it is controllable, then “Stage Fright” is not controllable for you and your nerves push you to the edge of sanity.
I believe that we all have the ability to choose. That’s what Eve’s apple gave us – for good or ill. If we have the freedom to choose, that we can choose to control “Stage Fright.”
I’m not saying it is an instant process. You don’t take a pill and suddenly you aren’t nervous.
Changing your responses is hard. Controlling “Stage Fright” is a learned process that begins in your head. You choose to learn how to control your responses. You practice by yourself or with a guide to make difference choices
Once you make the choice, then you begin to identify all the elements of “Stage Fright’ that you experience. When you are retraining your mind, you choose to change the response you have to a particular situation.
Sweaty palms, shaky hands and wobbly knees are only the symptoms of ‘Stage Fright.”
The process of retraining your responses can be long and demanding. Like an actor, you can teach yourself how to respond in controlled, directed manner. Your mental training allows you to use the nervous energy generated by “Stage Fright” to heighten your presentation.
Again, this doesn’t happen overnight. But once mastered, you are able to present yourself as more alert, more vibrant, more energetic, more enthusiastic, and more commanding in your presentation. Your nerves become a coiled spring, prepared to release upon your command.
As all communication competence begins with awareness, so does channeling “Stage Fright.”
UPCOMING CONVERSATIONS:
December 9 – “Moral Decay and The Need for a Dress Code”– Recently, Charles Mason gave me a copy of an academic article entitled “Moral Crisis in Higher Education and the Dress Code Phenomenon.” The article reviews “indecent dressing among youth today” and “the need to restore high moral standards, integrity and decency.” In one of our recent sessions, the topic of saggy pants stirred up much discussion. Some people feel strongly – pro and con - about the way certain people dress. We try to keep calm during the session.
December 16 – “Thinking”- Do we know when we think? Can you NOT think? Do you know how YOU think? Do you like to think? Then what do you think about? How can you direct your thinking? What about distractions? These are only some of the topics that will probably come up during the discussion. Maybe someone will know how to read our minds.
Club sessions in the New Year; we’ll talk about when to schedule them.
What about one of these topics?
“How Do You Fire Someone?”
“Rap and Hip Hop – What’s the Message?"
“Rodney King: ‘Why Can’t We Get Along?”
“Asking Questions in Class”
“Cold Calling in Sales”
“Meaning”
“The Seven Heavenly Virtues”
“Why Does History Repeat Itself?”
“Repetition”
“Cynicism”
“Heroism”
And dozens of others!
What happened on Wednesday, November 18, 2009? “SPAR Debate”
For today’s session, our group was small but fearless. . They included Richard Green, Carlisle Yearwood, Britzia Bolanos, Charles Mason, Ronald Johnson and Hal Wicke.
In the early part of the session, Richard, Carlisle and Hal worked with Britzia on her English facility. She is one of Richard’s ESL students and although very conversational in his class, she was brave in being willing to participate in a highly verbal environment.
The three teachers worked with her to explain the plot of Cervantes’ famous novel, “Don Quixote.” Who he was; who his sidekick was; what did the windmills represent; the symbolic meaning of his adventures. To ensure her comprehension, Richard translated the discussion into Spanish. Britzia listened carefully.
Later, Carlisle had to leave for an appointment, but before he left, he learned something from Richard – about his ability to listen. Clearly, the on-going lesson of these sessions is that everyone learns something, regardless of their background and conversational facility.
We took up the SPAR Debate topic of the day – “Honesty is the best policy.” After a flip of a coin, Richard took the negative side while Carlisle argued the affirmative position. Each went at each other in a ferocious, yet articulate exchange. There were a number of literary and biblical references combined with every day contemporary evidence.
Those present – Britzia and Ronald – each voted their favorite debater. The debate was a tie. Hal declined to vote because he was taking care of the mechanics.
In the debriefing, Richard commented on how much he learns from doing these instant debates because he is not used to getting all his thoughts together at one focused time.
We agree. So often we are thrown into situations where we would like to defend a point of view, but the words do not come fast enough or in an organized manner. Practice is the secret weapon for achieving this verbal facility.
We changed direction when Charles was interested in focusing on a comparison of \the current war in Afganistan with the war in Vietnam. He felt that Presidents Bush and Johnson were of the same mindset contrasted with President Obama’s decision making process:- a quick decision vs. a considered decision.
We will all find out next Tuesday night when Obama announces his plans at West Point. At the club meeting the next day, we’ll explore Obama’s injunction that he wants to “finish the job” in connection with our theme “Walking the talk.”
With Thanksgiving the next day and the building closing at 3 pm, the energy was focused on turkey. We will revisit SPAR Debate again in the New Year.
We always have a great time exploring these issues. So often our daily life never focuses on these Communication issues. If you have something you want us to discuss please let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Next time bring a friend. The Communication Club is always an open discussion, limited only by time. Everyone gets a chance to speak. All opinions are welcome. Here is an opportunity for students to challenge professors’ views outside the class without any homework or assignments. You just have to show up and listen and talk if you want.
Hal Wicke
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